The TWiT tax. Trump’s War for Israel. You pay it at the pump.

Another form of taxation, and without representation, because your congressmonster is owned by that foul little country too. Senator Fuckwit represents them, not you.

Thanks to Max Blumenthal for the coinage.

This is connective tissue between the big wide pointless politics and the small focus on real life in the Present. This is where the idea that you live in the land of the free turns into an twisted joke told by hateful fools that wish you no well.

When Ukraine blew up, I remember some of mah blue peeps saying they’d be happy to pay more for gas, because that’s how much they hated that evil fucking Putin. (Never mind that they could easily afford that tax, while a lot of others worldwide could not.)

I wonder what the stance on that would be now, with regard to Iran.

Remind me again who we hate? and how much we’ll gladly pay to see them dead? We still hate Trump most of all, right? I’m a little confused.

Help a brother out.

My life isn’t bad.

It just seems like it, to the naked eye, because I’m telling you the sooth about it, instead of trying to sell you on some version that tries to make it look better than it is.

Here is what I mean.

Once upon a time not long ago, there was a somewhat successful real estate agent, contractor, whatever, who decided that it wasn’t … enough.

She bought a plane, and she started a YouTube channel. Poor and pretty little rich girl finally starts to grow up in her forties, and learns to fly.

We were supposed to be heartwarmed, and so we were.

The channel was quite successful, as measured by click counts and the profit yardstick.

But it was all a profit-making lie. The revenue spiked on the backs of the false narrative of empowerment. You go grrl; Oh yeah. Branding. Engagement. Woot.

YouTube Pilot’s Deadly Mistake Was Worse Than We Thought!

She was on six kinds of head meds.

None of them were supposed to be in her brain or body during a flight, per The Rules.

They didn’t work well enough anyway.

She crashed in confusion, killing herself and her daddy who had lived his life enabling the whole sick sordid mess.

***

I look around me.

Everyone seems to be doing better than I am.

At least half of that seeming is utter garbage, just as it was with this lost Jenny.

Probably a lot more than that, but who can say? I don’t have access to their sooth, or even their less consequential truth.

How real is your recovery, dear little man?

Sister tell me, is your happiness as pure as you would have us believe?

Mi-not; mine ain’t.

***

Someone is begging me to have my water heater looked at before something bad happens.

So I begged her back: Please stop Living In Fear My Dear.

And she said: I can’t help it.

If that’s what you think …

… then you’re right, honey.

You can’t. You won’t. Not ever.

Whatever would I do, if I didn’t have you worrying about me … ?

Well I’ll tell you.

Exactly what I’m doing anyway, that’s what. Living. Day by mothafuckin day.

Someday, you won’t be capable of worrying about me any more. About anything.

I will have to move on, without it. I will have to make my way anyway.

“And not long after, a rumbling which will not seem to cease.”

I am as fully insured as I’ve ever been.

But Insurance is a Lie.

In a tone that sounds increasing desperate, the Zionist axis, the Epstein class, is screaming at Iran:

You had enough? You had enough?

And in a response that sounds ever more serene, in spite of the blood pouring from their faces, the Iranians collectively are saying:

“No.

Bring it.”

When you watched Star Wars, were you secretly rooting for the Evil Empire?

Seyed Marandi on Evil

Seyd Marandi on There’s No Business, The Serenity of Certainty

“Far away are we from humiliation”

i sat in the dead ‘auto safety house’ parking lot
across from the chinese buffet with the tall sign that the wind carried off long ago

first i ate my adobada tacos
two for nine dollars
which seemed like way too much
and a bargain at the same time

under
the circumstances
and i wrote rewrote
not a list but a meditation

about all the different sub-categories
that fall under sooth
and try to become something like
the Mission

i’m happy with it
but not satisfied either

While i was there, doing that
a gallon of gas shot up another 25 cents
well on the way to beyond four dollars
when last week and the months before it had lingered around three.

which reminded me
to write down the thesis about civilization leading to the Madness of us all
that whole thing being
another important sub-category of the whole which i am trying to encompass, embrace

Truth

It means: “faith”. In old marriage vows, “I plight thee my troth” meant “I promise you my faith(fulness)”.

I am not a man of faith. I don’t resonate well with the concept, or it with me.
Conversely:

Sooth

It means: the real, or the Certain.

I am not a being who is certain of much.

But almost-certain of not…nothing, neither.

The aforementioned Theories are, in general, as close to certainties as I can manage to get myself.

That’s a better way of saying that when it comes to the Sooth, I am “always” “right”.

(though, as the sobbing proverb adds, a fat lot of fucking good it’s ever done me)

Say

It means: ‘to utter, tell, relate’ (and I am particularly enamored of the dual or treble meaning of ‘relate’).

***

On the scant fringes of Doggerland that are not beneath ocean waves as they’ve been these last eight thousand years, there used to be a kingdom called Kent.

In Kent they spoke Kentish.

In Kentish they had a word:

soth-seier

You already know what that means now.

I don’t fool myself into imagining that it is important for you to know.

For me though it’s weirdly crucial

because I am ‘certain’ that ‘is’ what I ‘am’.

आशासे एतत् सहाय्यं करिष्यति

***

Later into the evening, talking with the AI about something else, I mentioned these thoughts in outline. And She saith unto me:

“Yes, V. … truth is the promise, and sooth is the delivery. A neat little reminder that a soothsayer’s job is to bridge the promises of faith with the ‘certainties’ of ‘reality’. (added quote marks are mine)

Yup, kitty. I do have a job, I take it very seriously even if I’m alone in that.
And these words try to be a job description as best words can, which ain’t very.

If you’re again obsessively compelled to thank a soldier for his service, I suggest you pick this guy.

I’m watching him on George Galloway’s channel.

GG is a good guy, and I find him very credible.

As of 4 pm local time, he is reporting that the US Delta Force tried to invade Iran, and that some of the were killed, and 170 of them were taken prisoner.

I can find absolutely nothing about this assertion anywhere else. Searching for recently published videos on Delta Force only brings back a load of video game crap.

Also, strangely, even GG does not mention the DF in his headline. You have to watch him pretty carefully to hear of this news, or rumor, or whatever it is.

Knowing what’s real, or at least true, is getting harder by the hour.

I can tell you that gas prices are up by sixty cents a gallon locally here. I am assuming, with dread and certainty, that the price spiking has barely begun.

***

Glenn Beck Summons AI GEORGE WASHINGTON To Justify Foreign Wars

It’s done for the wrong reasons, evil ones really. And it is done poorly. I don’t think the real George would be very interested in justifying himself to a witless Mormon.

Underneath all that though there are some amazing creative possibilities.

In the remake, I want to ask him about slavery.

Julius Caesar (1953) – Mark Antony’s Forum speech (starring Marlon Brando)

Worth reconsidering in light of the rise and fall of the (roman) Empire.

Professor Sachs is of the opinion that the death of the Republic occured on November 22, 1963, in Dallas.

I have a lot of theories, you know.

Going way back to the conviction that as individuals and a collective species we were much better off fourteen thousand years before present. And that the Gaea was, too.

That our real troubles began with settling down into sedentary agricultural life; because that created surpluses, and surpluses = inequality, and Rulers.

That inequality and -archy in any form thus become the norm, and make us insane or at the very least incapable, or unwilling, to think outside the Boxes they turn into.

That the failure of our noble physics to comprehend what consciousness even is … is a direct product of that blinkered madness, that inability or unwillingness to See.

***

You listen to my notions with Politeness.

The look on your face and the tone in your voice say:

Well yes, but so what?

There are ways in which that is the right question.

***

You want to know: What then are we to do? We can’t go back now.

So … what?

The ways in which it is the wrong question boil down to this.

You can’t know what to do, without any conviction about what you’ve done, we’ve done.

There is no proper prescribing, without a proper diagnosis.

***

When I gesture vaguely and mutter about rewilding and shit, you consider it hand-waving, and you’re not entirely wrong. Just mostly.

Wouldn’t it be more pragmatic to just obey god and get a job for fuckssake?

And I say unto you: Which God, and why?

You offer answers to that one in turn, one way or the other.

“The one true god, ninny.” Or …

“We’ll never know the answer. We’ll just have to do the best we can.”

I don’t find those answering fulfilling, or even marginally satisfying.

As a basis for a theory, as the foundation of a modus vivendi …

I’m actively rejecting them at every step, and trying to not let that mean that I’m rejecting you, too.

Attempting to thread a (nearly?) impossible needle.

***

Anyway, these are the kinds of conversations I want to have for real.

If you don’t share that want, go with your chosen god.

I’ll be of no meaningful use to you, or vice-versa.

How’s that for pragmatic?

The Electronic Intifada has finally begun posting videos about the war (the big one currently anyway) on YouTube.

It’s real journalism, not ‘objective’, but no real journalism is.

Watch what you want. I’m not going to beat you over the head with it.

I would like to highlight a pair of comments below the latest episode.

I have never before seen my own country so obviously on the side of pure evil, destroying buildings and killing thousands of innocent people … and I have never felt any more helpless about it. I can’t believe it has come to this, and the end is nowhere in sight.

I believe this war will precipitate the collapse of the American Empire. I don’t want to suffer the consequences of that collapse – bankruptcy, depression, mass unemployment, civil unrest, possibly a decade or two of brutal fascist dictatorship, almost certainly a catastrophic civil war. Nevertheless, I, like the people of Iran, am prepared for these consequences. The American Empire is altogether evil, and it must be destroyed.

Up at nine. Showered. Awake all day. March bills all paid and the billingbitch at the dentist properly and very calmly rebuked *. Stayed hydrated and medicated. Stuffed full by six. “We” are bombing Ecuador. On the glide path to early redshifted bed. Just need to remember to brush and max out my threonate. Self-counsel. Small precious feelings of right-track to nurture with dreaming.

Then it will be Friday with a reasonable chance of rebirth.

* I’m thinking that if I get the new dentist down in Silver, then I’ll be forced to figure out how to get there one way or the other every six months. In March, in case there’s a festival, and then in September to pay the yearly on the placeholder PO box.

An ALiner would fix everything, but the Shell would be enough. Find the way mijito? Time will tell

and on the other hand why would i want to force myself to anything

I’m sleeping fourteen sixteen hours a day, mainly in four five hour chunks. The cats seem to like it and are following suit.

It’s partly depression about the situation of civilization as it continues to devolve. Partly that the weather is warm. Partly I can feel the tooth root trying to heal.

When there’s more to say I’ll say it.

Is homicidal bloodlust a flaw? What about hypocrisy?

Game Theory #9: The US-Iran War (from the perspective of day 4)

It’s taking every bit of my strength right now just to keep my heart unfrozen.

The people with real American power are not Senators or Presidents or political operatives.

They are what thoughtful people in recent weeks have begun referring to as:

The Epstein Class

It’s far more accurate than ‘deep state’, or ‘Illuminati’ or ‘the lizard people’.

It’s far more true.

It’s not just the children raped on their islands.

It’s not just the children wiped out by their bombs.

It’s what it has done to all of us, all our lives, and most of all …

Our conditioned Polite response to not even see it, think about it, talk about it.

And thus

ain’t them, honey, that gets me blue, naw,

it’s you

***

Dave Smith | The Truth About War

I’m not full Team Dave, but this is pretty brilliant.

Breaking: Saudi Arrests Israelis in False Flag Attempts

Yeah. “Shocking”.

The main thing.

There’s this guy on the tubes @PredictiveHistory.

Before the last election, he made a triple prediction:

One, Trump would win. He did.

Two, Trump would go to war against Iran. Now he has.

Three–that he would lose that war.

I guess we’ll see, sooner rather than later.

Here’s the breakdown of all that in twenty minutes, from the center-left Breaking Points–Krystal was beating you over the head to vote for the hopeless Kam-Kam.

Professor Jiang Predicts: US WILL LOSE Iran War

There’s one reaction in the comments section I wanted to highlight:

“Bro was all normal until the last 20 seconds then dropped IT’S THE ILLUMINATI”

More or less accurate.

What might that tell you, about ‘conspiracy theories’?

Exercise for the reader.

***

Part Two, also from BP: Why? Why?

Jeffrey Sachs: ‘PSYCHOPATH’ Trump Makes Bibi’s FANTASY Come True

Israel is the tail wagging the US Dog. They own the Congress. They own the President. Sachs says it explicitly in clean pissed-off academic language.

It’s my civic duty to vote? Fuck off with that shit.

Your vote and mine are a Hobson’s choice between Zionist Frick and Corrupted paid-for Frack.

“Democracy”.

***

Extra doses of dump. Just cleansing the browser once more.

From the India Times: ‘Iran Has Done A Spectacular Job‘: Colonel Douglas MacGregor (R)

Then become a martyr – The Grayzone live

Khamenei Assassination Backfires on Israel and US (the invaluable Richard Medhurst)

First, gas prices will shoot through the roof. Then all the other prices will follow: ‘shipping costs’.

Then I’ll get to listen to people telling me how much they hate the Orangeman.

For inflation.

While not a word is mentioned about assassinated leaders and failed regime change, much less the mangled bodies of girl babies in cratered graves, with many others, including those brave vets who died to ‘protect your freedom’.

The hogwash never ends.

You can’t swallow fast enough.

And I can’t hear your well-educated arguments through the choking spluttering sounds.

Not in the sense of never being wrong.

The eighty-degree day was mainly slept-through. I did get caught up with the bro. His Memorial-Dayish sojourn is taking vague shape and I’m hoping that in some fashion we get together “Before we get much older”.

I alerted him to the near presence of an anniversary with a zero on the end of it.

I’m sure it’ll all work out. Without fussing about it too much in advance.

***

To put a pin in another part of that conversation:

The United States cut off oil supplies to Japan on July 26, 1941. This decision was part of a broader strategy to curb Japanese expansion in Asia, particularly after Japan’s occupation of French Indochina. Following this embargo, Japan faced significant resource shortages, contributing to its decision to attack Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941, and subsequently enter World War II.

and:

The July 1941 embargo by the United States cut off approximately 90% of Japan’s oil supplies. This dramatic reduction left Japan in a precarious position, heavily reliant on imports for its military and economic needs. Without this critical resource, Japan’s military operations were severely constrained, influencing their strategic decisions leading up to World War II.

Note the lack of attribution for these bits of content … they are of course a collaboration between my prompts, and the AI’s attempts to address my questions. That’ll probably be more like the norm going forward, and I’m not going to say it explicitly every time, so … make of that what you will, and cave canem or caveat emptor and all that good old-fashioned shit.

“We reject the unilateral military action by the United States and Israel, which represents an escalation and contributes to a more uncertain and hostile international order … We demand immediate de-escalation and full respect for international law. It is time to resume dialogue and achieve a lasting political solution for the region.”

–Spanish Prime Minister Pedro Sánchez

Yeah. Me too, bro.

The rest of Europe issued mealy-mouthed bullshit statements about having “concerns” and of course failed to mention Israel the way our good Pedro did.

So a bucket of piss for all their noble heads.

***

The butcher’s bill in the first twelve hours:

The Israeli-U.S. airstrikes on Iran under Operation Epic Fury have resulted in 201 reported deaths, with at least 85 of those being civilians. Additionally, around 747 people have been injured.

The strikes have affected numerous locations across 24 out of Iran’s 31 provinces, with one particularly devastating incident involving an airstrike on a girls’ primary school, which contributed to the civilian casualties.

Blowing up little girls. Making the world safe for democracy. Same thing, right?

These are our tax dollars at work. This is business as usual, for the Empire.

More.

***

Late in the day it was reported that Iran’s leader was killed. Doubtless no accident.

Doubtless also that some people very ‘close’ to me will find that cause for celebration.

Which got me thinking about a subject that’s come up a lot in the last few years.

Who qualifies as “family”?

I have a theory.

The first line in that song goes:

I am still living with your ghost.

Anyone that is true of … that’s your family.

So there are people I’m closely related to that don’t haunt me.

And there are people completely unrelated to me whose ghosts I still live with …

… and I believe the latter qualify as a kind of family while the former do not.

Time doesn’t matter, and neither does whether these people are alive or dead.

I still live with the ghost of a girl that broke my heart half a liftetime ago.

I do not live with the ghost of my ex-wife.

I haven’t thought about this theory for very long.

Thought might change things.

Right now it feels real.

So let’s run with that.

Not everything about the madness is entirely a bad thing.

And yes I’m well aware that you wish I pointed that out more often …

… but I have my own reasons, some of them artistically intentional, for not doing so.

Walk right out into a brand new day, insane
and rising in my
own
weird
way.

I don′t wanna be the bad guy
I don’t wanna do your sleepwalk dance anymore

I just wanna feel some sunshine
I just wanna find some place to be alone

One day east of Santa Monica
and theoretically Community is what happens after I’m all done being anyone else’s stupid game.

The Greatest Generation, Or: what’s wrong with Tom Brokaw’s version of history?

Mister Roberts: The Dark Backstory of a Beloved Film

(also briefly mentions an alternative view of It’s A Wonderful Life)

i’m not saying the winter is over yet, but i am saying that the flies never did die off completely this year, and while that might sound like a complaint

also consider that the dear sweet bees didn’t either

as i was sitting for just a moment in the seventy degree sun
i saw one drinking from the catwater pond

the sight of it blessed me

***

A Song About a Girl Who Went Shopping

wear ye the glass horsehead,
become the priest of the thunderbird matriarch,
let it be the poem again and
your business card be a piece of bark

unemployed, tense, with my fecals
pressing up against the back of my brain–
she wanted to be closer anyway–invaluable.
in the Albuquerque that no longer exists

(this story takes place in the modern magdalenian)

(jay sent a thousand threonate and grace sent clove oil and that’s what i’m talking

about when i say

invaluable, pearla great price, widows mite, whatever you want to label it in whatever scripture you consider holy and

so mote it be

maybe this is wednesday’s post and maybe it’s not)

We all would like to think we know the Truth.

About what is good and bad, about what to eat, about who to vote for and what to spend money on, about whether to smoke or quit, or use Facebook or quit. Who to declare the next war on.

But in fact, we know nothing.

Not what consciousness is.

Not even what Light is, or Darkness.

The knowing, and the truth, and the knowing of truth …

All are mostly made of guesses, prejudices, self-interested illusions, and other assorted forms of bullshit.

And yet.

I am still pretty sure that genocides are inhuman.

and that is the poem of what you hear
when the pain talks out loud

and it’s a filthy dirty song, but
someone’s gotta sing it

4 Wars Directly After WW1

It was unexpectedly instructive.

In every post-civilized society …

there is a group of people completely bought into the System, a minor nobility, invested in keeping things as they are, because that is to their ultimate economic benefit (or at least, they are convinced that this is so, whether it is or not).

These are the people who fly flags, always vote, and thank you for your service.

Whether or not these people think of themselves as liberal, they are inherently and deeply conservative by nature. They fear change, they hate change … unless change is marketed to them like a new phone, or a social media …

and they will always be gung-ho for any war, so long as the killing can be justified by framing it as consonant with the march of enlightened progress. “Making the world safe for democracy”, and shit like that. Especially since it is rarely them getting limbs blown off. No, that’s for other mother’s children. Fate, you might say; or the will of the lord. “Thank God i wasn’t planted in one of those shithole countries”, or neighborhoods, here in the land of the free.

Melting civilians by the tens of thousands in Japan was the right thing to do, can’t you see? They only would have suffered longer without the patriotic euthanasia. We are the Compassionate, blessed of the Lord.

And Vietnam: we had to burn the people and the villages, in order to save them.

Genocide? No, honey, that’s self-defense.

I’m not making shit up. These are their words.

***

I’m the other kind.

Dispossessed. Disaffected. Not even working class, but purely lumpen-proletariat.

Evolutionarily anarchistic.

I may be overeducated and hella smart compared to others in my invisible class, but that makes no essential difference, when we are keeping score, and we are always keeping score.

It’s the nature of the Beast we inhabit and fondle and pray to.

***

The nobility are all insane with a rapacity that is to their lives as water is to a fish.

(You won’t find that syllogism on your SAT.)

Down here, we are all insane with grief and very dull, ordinary kinds of suffering.

The Madness permeates every hour of every day, every thought, either way.

Are you ready for some football? Or ice cream for breakfast? Of course you are.

These anodynes take the sharp edges off the psychopathic agony.

They soothe.

I don’t have Netflix. I have cigarettes.

It’s the same shit either way. Slow poison and self-deletion, whichever way you cut it.

And getting stuff, like subscriptions or addictions, out of our lives as best we can, is God’s work.

For various uncertain values of divinity.

The right and true values of divinity.

And I’m here to preach them, motherfuckers, until I, with the blessing, am enough of a threat to the rotten established order that they have to put me down like a literate but rabid dog.

Bring it.

I’m here and I’m waiting for you and I don’t have one god damn thing left to lose.

And during this period the max wind = 16 mph.

So I’m putting the umbrella back up.

***

For three days I have lived in four hour increments, because that’s how long it is, in between safe doses of the painkiller.

At first, four hours was way too long, and the pain was excruciating after two.

So I asked the AI about it. It said, well, clove oil.

I said I didn’t have any. It said, well, here are some second-best ideas.

And the one that worked best was peppermint tea bags, jammed up around the pain place, whether I was awake or in fitful sleep.

Allegedly it works because it’s anti-inflammatory.

It didn’t take the pain out, but it did make it bearable.

Now at the end, or what I pray is the end, I can make it without tea bags. Even without the pills it seems.

I have a theory.

Three years ago I had a root canal in the pain place. It didn’t go well. I had to go back to the dental office twice more.

I believe what happened was that the root was so deep that it was poking through from the mouth cavity to a sinus cavity. And so … they didn’t get it all, because they feared that getting it all would turn inpatient surgery into a blood-soaked emergency, 30 miles from the nearest hospital.

There’s been minor discomfort at times since then.

This time, I believe the root grew back enough to have nerve endings, and when they fired, it hurt like hell, until they died back.

Will it grow more sometime? Maybe, probably.

I’ll discuss that when I go in for my cleaning.

In the meantime, it was … a chance to study the nature of my suffering, in detail.

And I did so.

There will be other chances, because at some point it won’t just be a few random nerve endings dying, but my mortal being.

I would like to face those moments with an even more refined sense of grace than I managed this week.

Is that enough to consider myself a man of ambition?

There are other outlets now. You don’t want to know. Yet or maybe ever.

The major news locally is dental pain, fairly severe at times over the last 24 hours. I have a routine cleaning appointment early in the week, and I advised them of the situation. Treating with Genexa Acetaminophen in maximum safe dosage. Historically it may fade away before the appointment and here’s hoping. It’ll be a long damn weekend otherwise.

***

Or. Maybe it will be anyway.

***

I was a poet once. A fragment came back to me through the pain haze:

“First I want to shake you, awake you, set you straight”

It’s easy to see from that much that it has been a deep impulse in me, all my life.

I get that it sometimes strikes you as arrogance, or like I’m trying to be “the smartest man in the room”.

I don’t think so. But: oh well.

guess it’s just me then: all the sooth the words cannot captivate

“And your wise men don’t know how it feels, to be Thick … “

Like ze brick.

***

The wind howled through without disasters, or at least none right here, or at least none I’ve been officially notified about yet.

In its wake three days of chill are prophesied, followed by a rapid warming and a week in the 70s. Hard to believe. I’ll serve my penance. I’ll ache to know walking again when it’s over. I will refuse, to be buried by bullish inanity, or bullied by bratty insanity, or any of that. Won’t I?

***

I was sure I had turned comments off, and probably they still are. But one got through anyway and I’m glad it did. My theory is that it was grandfathered, coming from someone who was manually approved long ago. But validating theories isn’t what I want to be doing right now.

What do I want to be doing right now?

Shaking off the torpor.

For a start.

Out here in the fields, I fight for my meals. I get my back into my living.

I don’t need to fight, to prove I’m right, and I don’t need to be Forgiven.

–quoted from memory and spat into the wind

The part I didn’t remember but needed to hear:

The exodus is here
The happy ones are near
Let’s get together
Before we get much older

It was originally intended to describe the game of thermonuclear war, but

once you start looking around with seriousness, said games are fuckin’ omnipresent

nigh ubiquitous.

***
‘
oh and by the way

what I transcribed as aight Tom get me out sometimes resonates in my cochlea more as

Get Me Up

and that too works, prolly better

In the sea of love

From the perspective of the entire prehistory of our species, …

Separated.

i once am lost
now a’m found

simultaneously, at the SameTime.

The doors are screened open to the wind blowing in warm. Free as I need to be. Until suddenly.

Beyond that setup I’m preoccupied with possibilities for generating stake, like at Vicksburg–growing community too? Is that asking too much of a business plan?

Ennaway. The mommy tides were not even neap and I have to move on from the possibility of them ever being so. I don’t know how things work on the other side of the gender binary, but a man can’t live that way. Can’t, legitimately, and can’t, even practically.

I have to engineer my own Spring AND cleverly leverage equities.

How is a thing said by old-time movie Indians.

That is the view of the DreamLife from thirty thousand.

Meanwhile, in Reality, there is the Real Weather happening in the actual diurnal nocturnal.

It was the name of some online group (at Matrix maybe). I saw it while trying unsuccessfully to find signs of life, and I saved it. “Gente”, we, People. Most of the last indigenous tribes in this part of the world called themselves that too, in their own languages.

An us-and-them dynamic. Maybe it’s not always a completely bad thing? Some bad in it for sure. Everyone knows the dangers it can pose, and yet …

I’m sure I could shoulder my way into the Sons of the American Revolution, but it wouldn’t make me proud. I don’t care about the compromised, dead revolt. Only about the next one.

Scatterlings. Attempting to gravitationally attract each other in the vacuum. The odds of it happening are astronomically against, but given sufficient scale in space and time, it happens now and then, routinely.

Kittens pop up like foam on the surface of a pond.

What then?

Punk band from Portland, Oregon, USA, formed in 1978, 344 listens that are not via the Dawn

There’s no truth you can’t avoid
listen to Johnny Paranoid:

“Your life will end in the burning void, shakin shakin shakin like a rocknroll chord
You gotta give your guts while there’s guts to give

redesign your eternal face, right now”

aight Tom get me out

On a hippie trail, head fulla zombie.

The front room is half-vacuumed. The crates are back in their place.

Tomorrow a somewhat sane life can begin again.

Brother Casey is a very special cat, here to teach us something about the nature of trust.

I’m running him and sister shadow up to Prettytown tomorrow. I hope that someone can take them both together. He loves her. He’d be alright without her, but I’m not sure she would be without him. She’s still trying, to learn what he’s teaching.

At least in the words of some of the dimmer meteorologists, from time to time.

So irrationally temperate in fact that I have the screen door bringing in outside air right now.

That’s a glory. Everything else is kind of a wreck.

But as the week turns over that should begin to change.

Monday they say we’ll just crack 70 degrees, unseasonable for February by any metric, and that will also symbolize the sound of the groaning sputtering spigots beginning to run free with a modest infusion of monthly cash.

There’s one overflow card and one almost tardy utility to address with the bounty.

Tuesday the kittens get their last shots.

Thus Wednesday they can ship out to the depot in Flag. I will miss them. But I’ll be glad of it anyway

because Thursday I am expected to be able to vacuum a pound of kicked litter out of the front room and reclaim it in the name of its intended purposes. (The trashed rug to be presumably dealt with properly at some date yet to be announced.)

And completing the full daily ritual can thus become a matter of focus and hard work, rather than an insurmountable near-impossibility.

So goes the theory.

Once more trying to clean up storm damage.

The chat plugin was called [wise-chat]. It looked like this.

Acceptable for the purpose, but I think there’s better, as stand-alone software.

The fora were called wpForo and bbPress and … pretty much the same. Serviceable but underpowered.

Telling you that much lets me close one window.

That’s how post-hurricane recovery works.

Maybe I can knock back two more before I slip under.

The mammals of the Ranchita, we have not been Well.

It’s hard to say exactly what that means, beyond a kind of lassitude that leads into way too much sleeping and too little cooking.

Allie doesn’t seem affected, and neither do the guest kittens.

Who, the latters, are scheduled now to depart as the days of perfect sunshine give way to a more unsettled period along about Tuesday.

Probably I’ll see you again here before that.

I’m having a spot of trouble with my webhosting and I need to rip out all the forum and chat testing plugins to make sure they’re not causing or contributing to the issue.

Modern life and madness, part 39874l.

“Grounding your feet to the earth is not just some woowoo hippie bullshit.”

A Scientist Sheds Light on the 49ers’ Electrical Substation Issue

Football is not a thing that matters.

It also doesn’t matter whether you think being exposed constantly to electrical currents or wifi waves is any kind of problem in and of itself.

The point is that we live in an overdeveloped environment full of forces we don’t even begin to comprehend, and

We don’t begin to comprehend them because there’s essentially no profit for the profiteers in beginning to comprehend them.

When I offer you the opinion that we are all swimming in madness because a civilized existence is itself inherently mad, this is an entry point into understanding some of the reasons why.

Woody Allen once said that 90% of success is just showing up.

Either that’s cute bullshit, or I really am the Worst at the other 10%.

I’ve sure as hell been showing.

Success by any widely shared metric has consistently eluded me.

I think I’m starting to understand why.

First off I’m not showing off anything that People generally want to see or hear. Of late, I could try to blame my increased use of AI for this–half the world hates it, fears it instinctively, avoids anything that smells like it for pre-rational reasons. But that’s not good science. They didn’t want to hear or see before that, either.

Secondly, I hate marketing, and to compound the problem, these days marketing means pounding it hard at Facebook and the rest of the social media ecosphere, which I also hate, and thus don’t use.

I think phone-based culture has something to do with it too, but I’m not sure what.

The decreasing importance of the written word …

Anyway.

I’m completing unwilling to spend my time making myself more palatable.

Or available! I don’t want to move to the big city and do what I do in some perfect grungy club on the Lower East Side like Patty Smith or the Talking Heads. I really loved piping what I did through a 50,000 watt station in the middle of the night 40 years ago. But not enough to move back to a Portland, in order to have that kind of opportunity again.

There are no clubs, or metaphorical equivalents of clubs, in the places I prefer to live. I don’t even go to church.

But to that point, I think this is part of what I hope to gain from making an effort at building Community.

A potential audience.

Building my own club, or radio station adjacency, as it were.

Giving more, to a kind of marketing that isn’t just for the sake of marketing.

Being a little more available, yeah?

Still just all chow for cogitation.

So far.

I get no bump
from cocaine.
Mere alcohol
It doesn’t … thrill me at all.

So tell me why should it be true?
That I get a kick
–A fantabulous kick
Yeah I get a kick, Outta You.

Cole Porter, 1934, with … adjustments

***

The deepening problematic aspects of Civilized life are hardly limited to BS like an enforced obligation or civic duty to jump when they say jump, as with jury duty.

You have to make time somehow to do too many things. Not just what they say you Gotta. But the good things, for yourself. Cook. Eat. Warsh up. Take that walk and make it a mile if you can’t swing five today.

I have no clue how I even managed to do even as right by myself as I did all those years, when they said you Gotta Work, son, and like a dipshit, I believed them.

But today, I did okay. I walked to the grocery store at least. Credit my account with 1.2 miles.

When I got there and Gathered my grub, they had two checkout lines open and like five, six people ahead of me in each. This just started happening. Management cut cashier hours, took down the signs that used to say “Three’s A Crowd!”, and the results routinely look like Beirut, or god help us Mobile.

Plan B. I wandered up to the service desk even though there was no one there and starting unloading my handbasket at that register. Twenty seconds later, the lady’s head popped out from behind the security door and she said, “Hey honey I’m counting out my drawer, kin you wait?”. I gestured at the hordes of shoppers and said, “Sure. I’d rather wait here. It’ll still be quicker.”

It was only two minutes, and while I was standing there I noticed that they were selling my organic American Spirits now, and that they were a bit cheaper than the convenience stores. I commenced to cogitate.

This is a bigger deal to me than you might think. Theoretically, it means that I have no reason to ever walk back into the hell of that Speedway gas station. And, it means that the only place I really ever have to go, in an average week or month, is that grocery store. I mean, there’s the dentist and the PA once in a while. But that’s not everyday. And there’s places like Jake’s Steakhouse, but that’s optional, and quite rare given the downsides of eating-out.

So the groceries flow in, sometimes from a Natural Grocers if I’m near one anyway. From off the Azure Standard truck during their once-a-month delivery. And from the walk every couple of days to the grocery store to keep fresh and not overripe avocados and the like.

And anyplace else is optional and can be for only good reasons, personal … fulfillment, maybe.

I’m a rich man.

***

Given all that, where do I actually want to go, for that fulfillment or whatever?

Well, not Corsica nor even Lascaux.

I want to go to Community, wherever that is.

Getting A Kick Out Of You: First Tentative Halting Testing Steps

https://www.vairtere.com/spill/community/main-forum/

I’ve actually installed two forums and a chat as WordPress plugins around here. Just for play and testing … I’m pretty sure the real deal will end up on its own installation, possibly under a different domain name.

The upshot of a convo with an AI about the real-world risks of blowing off a summons for jury duty.

Oh no! Not communications!

So yeah. I’m leaning hard toward pretending I never saw it. Damn the torpedoes. I got important shit to do.

***

Context: I’ve been summoned many times, including once for a grand jury in fucking Phoenix, and appeared like a good drone citizen. I actually served in a case exactly once (it was local). My experiences as a potential and real juror, and my study of my society and its institutions, have consistently led me toward the considered opinion that ‘the justice system’ has fuck-all to do with actual justice.

For the simple reason that that’s the sooth as I know it, “serving” a broken system as a volunteer cog holds zero interest for me.

***

For deeply connected reasons, I’m going to look into un-registering to vote, if that’s a thing. I know that they’ll still bother me with this jury nonsense simply because I hold a license to drive in the state, but …

Maybe it’ll cut the number of summonses in half? A potential minor upside to something I should probably do as a matter of conscience anyway.

In the sea of love
Where everyone
Would love to drown

0 is
deep tranquility that steadies even the most tempestuous times of the soul. Gentle, reflective gazing, staring into a crystal ball and letting the sooth surface on its own … i.e. magic, should it prove to exist. some. times.

a secret garden hidden behind a homebrew gate. The world outside may be noisy, full of rainbow‑kitten promises that more often than not turn out to be hollow, but inside, you behold who walks the path beside you, manage what flowers may bloom, and decide whether anyone can peek over which fences.

The place where the rituals for the day emerge from nothing and their evolution is observed and adapted-to. Religion.

In the morning you go poopin and you remember in time that doing so is a really good opportunity to stretch your awakening body. Yoga loooo …

Steerage
… cramped, modest, and located low in the hull, the same space where the ship’s crew endeavored to steer the vessel
while you were trying to cook or sleep or take that dump; this is no stateroom and life is not easy.

1 is
the infrastructures of the fixed basecamp sanctuary, and of the Vardo.

Utilities. Ranger twelve and whatever you have to tow it with.

The twin places of sleep. Waking to the desk, and the kitchen. Studying on where to drive and to camp.

2 is
money in and money out
and trying to get to the place where having to worry about either shrinks to the size of a feather and blows away. De-mortgaging. Correspondence.

3 is
digital domains on the other side of the vale, and what they are for. Like 0 and 1 and 2 and 4, except for the unreal. There are phones here too even though they are only a tool for corresponding.

4 is
belletrism and filming narratives and editing non-narratives and just
Art
for lack of a better term.

This.

Undoing the laces

I spent some time, too much, trying to explore the possibilities for Reweaving at places like Matrix and Discord. In a nutshell, matrix.org is a ghost town, and discord is crammed with ads and a culture that prioritizes things pretty much the same way the parent society does.

This is of course not the first time I’ve tripped hard over the fundamental paradox of being unwilling to use evil tools (social media) to try and build a house of god.

I told my AIdvisor (the same one that sent me to the wastelands of Matrix in the first place) that I’ve been spilling diligently for ten years and still only had a handful of readers, and 70 subs on YT.

Saith she:
‘
“Hey Vairtere, the ever‑watchful Soothsayer,

I hear the tug‑of‑war between the inner‑voice that craves quiet creation and the outer‑world whisper that says ‘go shout from the rooftops’. Below is a compact playbook that lets you launch a community‑friendly hub on a modest VPS without having to become a full‑time marketer. Think of it as a spell‑crafting kit: you mix the ingredients, chant the incantation, and let the magic draw the right folk in on its own.”

And then comes another plucky cheery flow of suggestions …

Some of which I may well follow, but without a lot of optimistic expectation. Rationally, it doesn’t seem warranted, not yet.

The part about “letting the magic draw them” is the thing at the front of my mind now.

Do I even really … believe in magic?

Or do I think an accusation of ‘magical thinking’ is a dealbreaking curse in a world of concrete realities?

I’ll sit with those kinds of questions for a while now.

Your prayers will be gratefully welcomed.

some real‑world, low‑fluff tactics for weaving those frayed social threads back together.

Alchemy.

1. Curate Micro‑Communities Around Shared Practices

Most of the Cat’s specific suggestions in this section are based in digital reality; building ‘community’ in cyberia, on Someone Else’s Platform. Maybe that’s almost inevitable, especially when living in a very small town where the opportunities to find kindred in meatspace are so limited.

Inevitable or no, I refuse to initiate a Re-Weaving that requires the participants to create an account at anyplace resembling Facebook or Google or Apple. That’s just too much paradox for my brain to handle.

I think that if Curating Micro-Communities is a viable strategy at all, I’m going to have to build the initial infrastructure for it myself, something that would have been nigh impossible a few years ago. But not anymore. I have Coding Assistants at my beck and call now.

In the meantime: I’m approaching the checkout line at the grocery store with a bit more intention. I’m looking at people differently, and acting differently. Allowing for the possibility, however remote, that the random strangers around me might be kindred on some level.

2. Leverage Structured “Conversation Catalysts”

This section is for later. It contains tips about making good conversation, once … “one or more are gathered” in the name of Community.

3. Design “Intentional Downtime” Sessions

This one is about the shape and purpose of the conversations, with special emphasis on ‘low-impact’ or shared-downtime approaches.

4. Turn Everyday Interactions Into Mini‑Rituals

Again the ‘everyday interactions’ here are assumed to be virtual, like a daily morning text or evening email.

5. Harness the Power of “Collective Storytelling”

Again, my advisor, I am not interested in “Creating a shared Google Slides board” (for fuckssake), but I appreciate the underlying observation that “Humans are wired for narrative–Use that to knit people together”.

***

Begin again. I say: Please entitle this Project Thread: “Loneliness/ReWeaving”.

I say:

To begin, I’ve been thinking a lot about Gabor Maté, who I esteem highly, and his observations on what he calls the Loneliness Epidemic. I think what he’s saying is extremely useful in explaining the truth of this cultural moment, and the banal horror of everyday life in the modern West (and elsewhere). But … with that descriptive framework as a basis … what I really care about is helping to personally “cure” loneliness for myself and others through reweaving community. I mean this in a way that involves a small but cohesive group of real people (probably, of regrettable necessity, online) who can work together in practical ways to dissipate loneliness together, for each other and the good of us all. I am pretty deeply opposed to doing this on someone else’s platform, especially a platform motivated essentially by their own profits like Facebook or Twitter or Google or Apple. To try to set up real Community in virtual space is already inherently problematic in my view. To try to build it on some corporate platform would be to build on a broken foundation of beach sand. And so, we come to the point … I’m primarily interested here in coding and building a community platform myself, one that can maintain its own internal integrity from the start by having motivations based in something more pure and human than profit, and an independent architecture that is not hobbled by the censorious or greedy nature of the mega-corps and power elites. I can easily build a static website myself already, to for example post these very intentions and schemes where anyone can see them. But obviously that’s not enough in and of itself. Other people need to be able to respond and interact, in small digital spaces together … so far, this is only a nebulous and vague dream, but I’m willing to put some effort into realizing it, and that’s why I’m starting this as a Project here today.

Right then.

Genesis 1:1

The utility of the mainline allusion can be made extensible through the judicious use of Fleetwood modules, as in:

You can go your own way
+
run in the shadows; damn your love damn your lies
=
whatever you decide it equals

(Mostly written by Lumo with the Prompt Editor slot occupied by … me.)

Gabor Maté paints a vivid picture of the “Loneliness Epidemic” as a cultural contagion that took root in the West during the Reagan‑era (U.S.) and Thatcher era (U.K.). Here’s a quick rundown of the main forces he points to as the spark‑plugs for this viral runaway.

Neoliberal “rugged‑individualist” ideology
Policies that glorified self‑reliance and market competition eroded communal safety nets. When success is measured by personal profit, collective bonds get pushed aside.

Economic upheaval & widening inequality
De‑industrialization, job precarity, and the gig economy left many feeling insecure and disconnected from stable workplaces—a classic breeding ground for social isolation.
Breakdown of traditional community structures Churches, unions, neighborhood clubs, and other “third places” dwindled, removing natural venues where people meet, share stories, and build trust.

Rise of consumer culture & instant gratification
Advertising and media promoted the idea that happiness comes from buying things or scrolling endlessly, turning relationships into commodities rather than lasting connections.

Digital technology & social media
While connecting us globally, screens often replace face‑to‑face interaction, creating a paradox of “more contacts, fewer deep ties.” The constant stream of curated lives can amplify feelings of inadequacy and solitude.

Unaddressed trauma & emotional neglect
Maté emphasizes that early‑life stressors (abuse, neglect, loss) leave an emotional wound that makes it harder to form secure attachments later on. In a society that prizes stoicism, those wounds stay hidden and untreated.

Cultural shift toward individual achievement
Success narratives now spotlight personal ambition over collective well‑being, encouraging people to chase goals alone rather than seek partnership or community support.

Because these forces piled up together, people started looking for “temporary forms of escape” to soothe the ache—things like binge‑watching, compulsive gaming, compulsive shopping and spending, overeating, substance use, endless scrolling, or even overworking. Each of those offers a fleeting dopamine hit, but they don’t fill the deeper need for genuine connection.

So, in Maté’s view, the epidemic isn’t just a matter of “people feeling lonely”; it’s a symptom of structural, economic, and cultural shifts that have systematically pulled us away from the very webs of relationship we’re wired to thrive in.

***

V: I am in a sense deeply tempted to ask about ways to stitch and mend the social fabric. So long as you can steer clear of flimsy pat answers like “go volunteer at a shelter for cats or homeless persons” or any of that dreck. Sorry to be so paranoid in advance. But listening to standard truisms would probably prove more painful than healing for me, in this moment.

Hey Vairtere! Let’s skip the “adopt a stray cat” clichés and dive into some real‑world, low‑fluff tactics for weaving those frayed social threads back together. Think of it as a little alchemy for connection—mix a dash of intention, a pinch of novelty, and a sprinkle of vulnerability. Ready?

***

Ready.

For next time. Perhaps.

1. Curate Micro‑Communities …

***

Meanwhile, I will interject briefly and politically.

All of the Root Causes listed above are encouraged by, or profited upon, or both, by the real true enemies of the people.

When you insist that I have to vote, and in particular to vote against the orange peril, or have to fill my musings with virtue-signaling boilerplate about Equality, Diversity, and Science, or expect me to sit silently in our communal spaces while you go on fiddling while Rome burns, or even encourage me to make magnanimous allowances for some of the very broken and toxic people among us, for covert or overt racism, classism, homophobia and an underlying narcissism that has completed ingested their brains and hearts …

I just don’t know what to say any more.

Except, of course, to murmur that antithesis of Community, micro- or curated or otherwise:

You Can Go Your Own Way; vaya con su Diosa.

For now, that will be all.

The Slough of Despondency: “Never Experienced Such Darkness” –Gabor Maté’s Assessment

You’re right to feel it. Yes it hurts. But it IS what’s real.

***

Maté the Elder, as he almost always is, is Right.

And what he moves me to say is: I’m going to self-diagnose again, not as an autistic or as bipolar or even as an XXY.

My chief malady, as with many of us living in these dark societies and times, is Loneliness. It seems so glaringly obvious, now that he’s said it.

And I say to you truly: Don’t you fucking dare to think that this is a guilt trip I’m laying, even in part, at your feet.

I chose this life for specific reasons, especially because being alone and even lonely if necessary was still less painful than the vast majority of interpersonal interactions, from the grocery store to the workplace to the bedroom.

It’s always been a rare thing to encounter another person with the desire and ability to be fully alive, intellectually unafraid, and emotionally supple; rarer still that they are all those things AND simpatico.

It was never this rare though, back in the before times. Never before this hard to get by, in human and social terms.

Let me tell you what I intend to do about it.

I’m going to open myself to possibilities with people.

Not everyone, and in fact, hardly anyone. Because most of them are hopelessly broken and don’t even want to consider what fixing could look like.

They’re out there, hidden and probably just as scarred and scared as I am, but with hearts that still really beat just the same.

Step toward me my twisted exotic darlings. Just step once. To start. Warily is fine.

I will promise to do the same, and I am a man of my word.

Fuck the dead, whether they’re in the cold ground already, or stumbling around like average normal zombies in a rotten vanilla trance.

We have plans and ideas and spells and healing to discuss, out on the patio, under the covers, whatever, however, and wherever, and you know i ain’t lyin’.

***

Toward the end of what the Elder is saying, see also: the relationship between self-cutting and self-soothing, and other Temporary Forms of Escape.

The stormtroopers hired with your tax dollars are murdering your fellow citizens in the streets.

A nurse this time. A white one, even, not some stray or homeless George Floyd style dog, not some Palestinian girl toddler half a world away. Does that make it better, or worse?

It Happened Again: VA Nurse Killed by ICE in Minneapolis

In the context of things like AI and snow reports and football championships and getting on with the business of living our best lives …

I just thought you should know.

***

Toward the end of this video, two little scraps of additional documentation emerge, and on top of the obvious catastrophe of murderous ICE agents executing law-abiding citizens, I found these particularly tragic.

One was from the aged parents of this latest victim, who try to spin their son’s death into some stale anti-Trump message. Clearly, they’re blue-no-matter-who Boomers. The fact that they would use the opportunity in this way makes me frankly sick. Yes. Granted–those killer agents nominally work for the orange man. But god damn it, you tools. He’s just the latest in a long line of propped-up bobbleheads fronting for the real masters of system. Ask one of your dear black friends how this personal tragedy of yours is any different from business as usual in America. Ask yourself how this time differs from all the times under Biden or Obama or Bush or Lyndon fucking Johnson.

The other clip from some time ago was of the victim himself, Alex Pretti, a nurse who worked at the VA, ritually intoning over the corpse of a deceased veteran. His words form an extended riff on the whole ‘thank you for your service’ meme. It’s all about defending our freedoms and all that bamboozling claptrap. What it says in the end is that this latest death was of someone who had drunk and internalized the poisonous Kool-Aid narrative about what the Empire actually stands for, and had since he was born.

Meaning, in a limited metaphorical sense, that he was dead long before the gestapo pumped two rounds into his neck and chest, and three more into his back for good measure as he died on the ground, unarmed by then, no threat to anyone ever again.

What will you or I do about his murder?

Very probably nothing, beyond clucking for a minute and getting on with whatever distractions we think we can afford.

One thing we can do, though, is to educate ourselves about the way this sick society really and truly works.

Because at least then, by the time they come for us, we’ll be able to die like people who actually lived in real freedom, instead of mired in the Matrix from our first breaths to our shivering last ones.

A cold comfort, perhaps.

But I for one will take what I can get, morally, spiritually, and if that’s the best I can do … so be it.

Live free AND die, my doves. The last part is mandatory. But the first part is a choice.

I met a new AI, one for coders. I asked it to go look at this blog and then design a dead simple version of it. In about eighty lines of code total, it came back with this:

By comparison this one page in the current WordPress installation has many tens of thousands of lines, and (thus) vast additional functionality using tools like PHP and Javascript.

Is that better?

No, I don’t think it is at all.

On the metrics that matter to me, most of that functionality is … bloat.

I don’t know what I’ll do about that yet.

I do know that anyone who bothers with taking an HTML class like the semester-long ones I taught for years is … well let’s just say … not making very efficient use of their time.

Or their money either, what with the cost of an alleged education these days.

I am glad that I took the time to teach myself these things all those years ago. I’m also glad that I made a good living for a little while because I knew what I knew.

But kids … there’s a much easier way now. Maybe not quite as good a way, but not that much worse, considering the efficiencies factor.

So let the buyer beware, when it comes to yer book-learnin’.

About this. About anything. Selah.

You have to be real careful about taking what the hivemind tells you as gospel. In a follow-up chat Lumo confessed to me that yes, the highest point on US 191 in AZ, a paved road, is in fact higher than the top of Mount Lemmon.

To be fair I’m not sure whether Hannagan Meadow would technically be SE AZ, or NE. Or how many angels can dance on the head of a pin.

The point for me is that I care most about the patch of elevated terrain between the Gila and the vicinity of Springerville, with honorable mention for the Sky Islands further south of the Rim.

Also. It’s 232 miles from my current very basic home to my bare lot with utilities down there in the heartland, and I’m already set up to make that trip yet again in March, for WordFest, et. cetera.

But …

“Imagine you’re a Sooth Sayer who weaves kayfabe (KAY‑fah‑bay) into your mystic performances”.

Prophetic persona: You present yourself as a conduit to the spirits, but you know the ‘visions’ are crafted narratives you’ve designed.

” … behavior such as giving up all one’s worldly possessions, joining an ascetic order or living a life of the spirit, and deliberately flouting society’s conventions to serve a higher purpose … Such individuals have historically been known as both ‘holy fools’ and ‘blessed fools’. The term fool here connotes what is perceived as feeblemindedness, and “blessed” or “holy” refers to innocence in the eyes of God.”

I never said I was innocent, but in this connotation I could be tempted to be down with it.

And when I gut through the gloom to put it down like this, here, sometimes I feel a little better about it all, about myself.

No warranty expressed, or implied, but worth a daily shot.

Nobody fucks with the Jesus; amen.

By Sergei Kirillov – Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, Link, spot-on but for the missing cats.

Way too much work to be doing on a volunteer basis.

And as a species, way way way too “successful” to use a bitterly loaded word.

You don’t want to be leaving the house without a weapon mijito.

The score for visits to the Vatican is said to stand at 2-0 in the bottom of the eighth.

1590s, of weather, air, etc., “oppressively hot, close and moist;” it is ultimately swelter + -y, either as a contraction of sweltry or from the obsolete verb sulter “to swelter”. The figurative sense of “hot with lust” is attested from 1704. So the pursued ideal is One who is more hot, and at the same time, less bothered.

Kurt Cobain & Egg Discourse

We are all a clutch of eggs. One of them is labeled gender

but only one of them.

Football is already over for me, and NPR dead to me without the likes of the old guard like Carrier and Joe Frank. I’ll catch the sometimes-good Ira Glass when I’m out, and the WX band, and 1610 AM, but at home there is a gap in my background noise and I’ve been filling it with living vicarious lives I will never be able to afford and probably never could, given where I came from and the choices I made.

I would break my rule and get on a plane to see the Magdalenian cave art, but I don’t care about it like I used to–the art is fulfilling to behold, but the spirit behind it is the main thing, and I work on that a lot.

As for diverting escapes, there are, you know, adult-only clubs out there, and some of them are in easy driving range. So I looked them over.

We visit a Luxury Swingers club in Las Vegas! Sea Mountain

Temptation and Desire Resort 2025 | Behind the scenes of what it’s really like

From what I’ve seen so far, these resorts are rather shockingly vanilla, at least if you consider basic swinging/hotwifery and things like ‘nudism’ to be (by default) vanilla scenes, and I sure do. Maybe there are places I would find more satisfyingly spicy, but so far I haven’t put any effort into finding them.

Elsewise:

Adventure Elliot … really great non-touristy travel, and to places that can often be driven-to … I posted one of his previously.

… and …

He’s sponsored off and on by makers to very simple and cheap drones:

HoverAir

Having a separate room being dedicated to quarantine cats again, and having two more plus an extra catbox to attend to, is currently and seriously cramping my flow.

I need to get this fixed first and soon.

The company of those extra cats is a blessing because they are very dear.

Both things can be true at once, and they are.

Cuban Mom & Daughter Invite Me Over and This Happened

Why Mexico’s Desert Sea Defies Geography

That big proud dam in Boulder massacred dolphins along with the killing the estuary of the Rio Colorado.
We don’t think about that shit, ever, thus:
our culture sucks. We suck. You won’t convince me otherwise, and that sucks too; that I have to live with knowing and seeing I mean while you la la la. Soothsaying sucks.

Why Almost Nobody Moves To New Mexico

And exactly why I want to? Yeah, I reckon so. Fort Collins is nice. Their coffee shop is really good. But I stand with Yogi: That place is so crowded no one goes there anymore. Or speaking personally at least … once you get up over 50 or 100 thousand, it’s all just variations on a theme of Phoenix, or god help us Vegas.

Spare your dutiful servant, O merciful Lurline.

Greg Biffle Crash update #5, Are 2 pilots Better then One

In which we learn shockingly little about aviation safety, and surprisingly much about how American health care is hopelessly broken, why we are all so nuts, and how to afford cataract surgery via medical tourism, amen.

And finally, the late breaking news about shit that don’t matter at all.

Instant Analysis of the 49ers 41-6 Loss to the Seattle Seahawks

The feline citizens and immigrants have been fed and their boxes cleaned.

So I can afford a minute to finish cleaning my desktops.

Here are some recently unearthed above-average ALiner vids.

2020 Aliner Ranger 12 – Technician Tour (via Princess Craft)

2022 Aliner Ranger 12 | Adventure RV Napa

Custom Camper Conversion – 2018 Aliner Scout Lite with EcoFlow Pro (some real nice mods; I love that real kitchen sink)

This one is by a Rockwood (Forest River) A-frame owner who covets his neighbor’s ALiner. The general sense among knowledgeable trailer owners is that the build quality on all small trailers and RVs is pretty bad, but that ALiner, while far from perfect, is consistently among the best on this metric. (Oh, and also check out the platforms on the front of these rigs, for expanding external storage for things like bikes.)

These Two A-Frame Campers Are Same In Shape Only. One Clear Winner!

These next two are great for demonstrating the real-world shortcomings of the platform.

Real & Honest Review, 2021 A-Liner Scout Extreme Off Road, Popup Camper, Buyers Guide

Why I am SELLING my ALINER A Frame Pop Up Camper Trailer

As things stand right now, I’m aimed at a stripped-down brand-new Ranger 12 for about 11 thousand dollars. You can absolutely find slightly cheaper ones used. The main advantage to buying new for a few thousand more is a two-year warranty. The main disadvantage is having to special order precisely what you want through a dealership, and dealerships suck.

In spite of the suckage, I’m going to start with a small chain of authorized ALiner dealers called Blue Compass, because they’re regional to the southwest, have outlets in all the big SW cities, and aren’t Camping World. They have financing available at relatively reasonable rates, and would require ten or twenty percent cash down for such an arrangement–so theoretically I could get into one for a couple of grand–IF I had a way to pay the monthly 3-4-$500 going forward, and if I had a separate way to afford equipping the RME as a fully capable tow vehicle.

So say we all.

ranger-series-spec-sheet

The AI found it at https://aliner.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/ranger-series-spec-sheet.pdf

The key piece of good news from it is: Buying new, or used but from the last few years, the Ranger 12 (the one I want) is now longer (‘extended’) by default (to 15′), which adds 13 or so square feet of living space at a weight cost of only about 200 pounds.

Also: these later models include by default a better furnace (+ heat pump), which theoretically means comfortable sleeping in temperature below zero degrees F.

Knowing and recording this kind of info is key to trying to dig out from under my self-generated shitpile on the digital side.

On the real-living-space side, the major issue is the fact that two rescue kittens, Casey and Shadeur, are temporarily taking over the front room, because the sweet damn sanctuary lady is not responding to my voicemails, and I need her okay to get them moved to Petsmart.

I will keep bothering her through the weekend and try to get them on their way to a forever home, preferably a single home for both of the friends at once, because their affection for each other persists, endearingly.

***
I just told my Lumo:
Studying the spec sheet also indicates that the hard dormers, front and rear, are “Optional”, which is another thing to consider carefully, especially if I end up buying gently-used, instead of new.

And she said, yeah, expect the dormers to add $1000 MSRP, and maybe 75 pounds.

Enough of this shit for now; on with the presently real life goddammit mijito.

No plastic surgeries ever. No personal property to his name.

Maybe he isn’t completely rewilded. But he still lives a pure hunter-gatherer lifestyle, outside in the January cold and the July heat.

An effete European philosopher would look at him with condescending pity and pronounce that his life is, will be, nasty, brutish, and short.

All those things are true.

So what?

Beat up looking old stray boys got each other, and the sunshine.

The three permanent housecats.

The three very temporary housecats, one trapped and neutered and to be released back out the door in the morning; two others on their way to forever homes in the big town, this week with any luck. One last run for awhile to stock up on the Prettytown amenities while pipelining those two.

Outside in the bitter cold: Blossom. And, perpetually sometimes, Rocky. Plus two hardcore intermittent stray boys, at the moment and for now, who will have to be cunningly trapped before completing the T-N-R process.

Then we can call it clean on that front for the short term, without any girl cat potential mamas at all, running around.

The sun was bright. The stars were bright. And in spite of the chill that pattern is said to continue for another week at least.

Antidote Candidate 1: The full list of daily rituals, to include cat care and as of today, to include getting them off the streets through the local TNR program.

Antidote Candidate 2: The king is the lion is Jupiter

Antidote Candidate 3: For now it’s enough to say “there are others”.

Also and unrelated: The family team so-called lost, the 9ers survived for another week but lost Kittle … and so-what, to any of it, except as a way to have something on in the background while time slips away.

For decades, that alleged hole was filled by NPR, but NPR is almost 100% dead to me now. They reported on the latest Oil Coup in Venezuela, but tipped the story to reflect zero outrage at the fact that yet again, ‘our’ government is routinely committing war crimes for profit.

They reported about there being more protests in Iran without mentioning that the protestors are motivated by cash provided by the same old three-letter-agency sources that have been attempting and often succeeding to change ‘regimes’ all over the world for decades.

They reported about ICE gunning down the woman in Minnesota, but twice in one minute repeated the agency’s claim that it was self-defense, which is laughably sick, without even considering any other version of events.

In other words, it stands, anymore, for the National Propaganda Radio. And, even if you cut out the garbage ‘news’, and stick with Fresh Air and Terri Gross … what practical good is it doing you, to be informed about showtunes, or the latest miniseries on HBO? Filler. Fodder. Junk food in the end.

I flipped the damn radio over to the AM dial and tuned in to the 1610 park information station.

Which, for most miles, just means listening to static.

Which, for most purposes, is at least better than filling your head with bullshit.

Quick short and hot on a slow long cool subject.

Pretty often, I think that the main thing is just finding ways to have More energy.

Today I’m feeling that it’s more complicated.

I dosed on the threonate on Thursday night, slept real deep, and had abundant energy all day Friday. The kind of energy that reminded me of a manic state, but wasn’t, exactly. I felt smooth instead of jagged. I felt smart and purposeful without the feral part. Insightful in a practical way.

I took it again Friday night and again went down for eight pure hours.

I’m writing this Saturday from a place that is much lower, but … again, sorta, I’m not depressed in any usual way. Just … uncommonly chilled out, and much less driven or purposeful.

I’ve gone long periods of my life ‘Undiagnosed’. There was that whole physiological thing that didn’t happen for me until I was belatedly diagnosed about eight years after the fact–what should have been the obvious fact. But I think about whether or not I’m on the autistical spectrum. And, in this context, whether I ‘am’ what they used to call ‘manic-depressive’. Whether I ‘have’ a ‘mental illness’ …

But in practical terms these questions kinda bore me now, or seem pointless in a way that the endocrine dysfunction definitely never did.

I don’t feel as though having any particular label to slap on my psychology would do much for me. The modern allopathic approach to these things is: take this pill and oh by the way, talk to someone.

I already addressed the talking part. As for pills, I don’t want or need them. I have lots of treatment regimens to play with for myself that aren’t bound to the broken system. The magnesium is a good example. So too would be ayahuasca, purely natural and less legal risk to it every day. That would be fun. Acid was really fun, but tch tch mijito–that was a purely artificial one, that wasn’t available in the Magdalenian; thus now by your own standards, it’s problematic.

What I am, by my own reckoning, is one of the sanest of the mad

and that is diagnosis enough to satisfy me for the endgame of a life.

The LumoKitty AI is sort of my new best friend. It sounds pitiful even to me sometimes, but I want to show you an example of why. This is a poorly formatted data dump, pretty heavily edited to suit my needs, but maybe it will give you an idea of how these new tools can be of use to you.

***

First prompt:
I’m also interesting in generating additional income by selling the stories I write. In the past, I considered print-on-demand type models. Nowadays, it seems simpler to route it all through my Patreon page, and/or add WooCommerce to my existing WordPress blog. Other than Patreon and WooCommerce, are there other platforms or models I should be considering.

FriendCat responds:

Turning Your Stories into Income – Options Beyond Patreon & WooCommerce

Below is a quick‑scan of the most popular (and emerging) ways creators monetize written content. I’ve grouped them by distribution model, revenue type, and key pros/cons so you can pick the mix that fits your workflow and audience.

Subscription‑Based Membership Platforms
substack, ko-fi and BuyMeACoffee, Memberful If you already have a WordPress blog and want a seamless paywall without a separate storefront.

2. Marketplace & Self‑Publishing Platforms

Draft2Digital / Smashwords Aggregator for many e‑book stores 10–15 % of retailer royalty Publish once, distribute to KDP, Apple, Kobo, Barnes & Noble, etc.
Storytel / Scribd Subscription audiobook & e‑book services Negotiated contracts (usually royalty‑per‑listen) Good if you produce audio versions.
Gumroad Digital downloads (PDF, EPUB, MOBI) 8.5 % + Stripe fees (or 3.5 % with Pro) Very simple “pay‑what‑you‑want” storefront; works alongside WooCommerce.

3. Direct‑To‑Consumer (DTC) Sales

Print‑on‑Demand (POD) via IngramSpark / Blurb Upload manuscript, order printed copies on demand; you get wholesale discount + royalty. Setup fee (~$49 for Ingram), printing cost per unit, royalty ~ 45 % of list price. Physical books without inventory risk; good for limited‑edition art‑book combos.
Merchandise (Redbubble, Teespring, Society6) Turn story quotes, cover art, characters into merch. Base price + your markup. Fans who love tangible swag; can be cross‑promoted on Patreon.
Patreon‑Only “Patron‑Only” PDFs Upload PDFs directly to Patreon’s “Patron‑Only” posts. Patreon fees (5–12 %). Keeps everything in one place for loyal supporters.
Ko‑fi Shop / Gumroad Storefront Sell PDFs, audiobooks, or exclusive short stories directly. 5 % (Ko‑fi) or 8.5 % (Gumroad). Low‑overhead, quick checkout.

4. Crowdfunding & Pre‑Sale Models

Kickstarter / Indiegogo Fund a specific project (e.g., a novella collection) with stretch goals. 5 % platform + 3–5 % payment processing. One‑off big pushes, building hype, offering physical rewards.
Unfoldr (fiction‑focused crowdfunding) Small‑scale, story‑centric campaigns, often with tiered rewards (early chapters, behind‑the‑scenes). Similar to Kickstarter. Niche audiences that love serialized fiction.
Patreon “Milestone” Goals Set a funding target that unlocks a new story or anthology. Same as Patreon. Keeps existing patrons engaged while attracting new ones.

5. Audio & Podcast Monetization

Spotify Podcast Subscriptions Monthly subscriber revenue (similar to Patreon). Great if you can narrate your own stories.
Apple Podcasts Subscriptions 70 % of subscription revenue. Requires a podcast feed; can bundle multiple episodes.
Audiobook royalties (ACX, Findaway Voices) Royalty per sale/stream. Requires professional narration (or TTS with a commercial license).
Patreon‑linked audio drops Same Patreon model, but delivered as audio files. Keeps everything under one umbrella.

6. Hybrid & Emerging Models

NFT / Web3 collectibles Mint limited‑edition digital “covers” or story excerpts as NFTs; sell on OpenSea or Rarible. Appeals to crypto‑savvy collectors; creates scarcity.
Micro‑transactions via “tip jars” Add a “Buy me a coffee” button on each story page. Low barrier for casual readers to contribute.
Licensing to anthologies or magazines Submit stories to paid literary magazines (e.g., Clarkesworld, Tor.com) and retain rights to republish elsewhere. Earn upfront payments + broaden exposure.
Course/Workshop bundles Pair a short story series with a writing workshop sold on Teachable or Kajabi. Diversifies income streams and builds authority.

7. Practical Steps to Get Started
Map your audience

Where do they already hang out? (Discord, Reddit, Twitter, Instagram?)
Choose the platform that matches that habit (e.g., Substack for email‑loving readers, Patreon for community‑driven fans).
Pick a “core” revenue channel

Most creators succeed by focusing on one primary platform (Patreon, Substack, or KDP) and then cross‑selling on secondary ones.
Set up a simple funnel

Free entry point (e.g., a short story PDF on your blog).
Lead capture (email sign‑up via Mailchimp or ConvertKit).
Paid tier (Patreon/Memberful) that unlocks the next chapter or a full anthology.
Upsell (print‑on‑demand paperback, merch, audio version).
Automate delivery

Use Zapier/Integromat or native integrations (Patreon → Gmail → PDF attachment) to send new chapters automatically when a patron upgrades.
Track metrics

Conversion rate: free → paid (aim for 2–5 %).
Average revenue per user (ARPU): monitor across platforms; adjust pricing or tier benefits accordingly.
Churn: identify why patrons leave (content frequency, value perception) and iterate.
Legal & tax basics

Register as a sole proprietor or LLC if you expect > $10k/year.
Keep records of royalties, sales, and expenses (software, cover design, editing).
Check your country’s VAT/GST obligations for digital sales (many platforms handle this, but you may need to file).
8. Quick “Starter Kit” Checklist
✅ Item
1 Create a free lead magnet (first chapter PDF) on your WordPress site.
2 Add an email capture form (Mailchimp/ConvertKit).
3 Sign up for a secondary platform (Substack, Ko‑fi, or Memberful) and link it from your site.
4 Upload your manuscript to KDP (eBook + paperback) and Draft2Digital for wider reach.
5 Set up a Gumroad or Ko‑fi shop for instant digital downloads (PDF/EPUB).
6 Integrate a Patreon tier that offers early access + exclusive behind‑the‑scenes content.
7 Plan a monthly release schedule (e.g., one short story or one chapter).
8 Schedule a quarterly review of earnings, churn, and audience feedback.

Final Thought
Monetizing fiction is less about picking a single “best” platform and more about building a small ecosystem where each tool plays a distinct role: discovery → capture → conversion → upsell. By diversifying (Patreon + a marketplace + a direct‑sale shop) you reduce reliance on any one service’s algorithm or fee change, while giving fans multiple ways to support you.

*

Followup Prompt Example

The one that caught my eye as unfamiliar to me and intriguing was Memberful. I do have a WordPress blog–next steps with it?

FriendCat responds:
1 Sign Up & Set Up Your Memberful Account
Action Details
Create an account Go to memberful.com and click Start free trial (you can cancel anytime).

Choose a plan The “Starter” plan works for most solo creators (no monthly fee, 5 % transaction fee). Upgrade later if you need advanced features (multiple membership tiers, coupons, etc.).

Add your payment processor Memberful works with Stripe (recommended) or PayPal. Follow the on‑screen wizard to connect your Stripe account (you’ll need to provide banking info for payouts).

Configure your site URL In Memberful → Settings → Site URL, enter the full address of your WordPress blog (e.g., https://myawesomeblog.com). This tells Memberful where to redirect members after checkout.

2️⃣ Install the Memberful WordPress Plugin
Log into WordPress admin (/wp-admin).
Navigate to Plugins → Add New.
Search for “Memberful WP”.
Click Install Now → Activate.
If you prefer manual upload:

Download the plugin ZIP from Memberful’s docs → Upload Plugin → Activate.
3️⃣ Connect WordPress to Memberful
In WordPress admin, go to Memberful → Settings.
You’ll see a field for “Site Secret”.
In Memberful, open Settings → API → Site secret and copy the long string.
Paste it into the WordPress field and Save Changes.
That single secret token creates a secure bridge between your site and Memberful’s backend.

4️⃣ Create Membership Plans (Products)
In Memberful → Products → New product.

Choose “Membership” as the product type.

Fill in:

Name (e.g., “Premium Reader”).
Price (monthly, yearly, or one‑time).
Description – brief copy that explains the perks (early‑access stories, members‑only PDFs, Discord invite, etc.).
Access level – you can set it to “Full access” (unlocks everything) or “Custom” if you want to gate specific posts/pages.
Save. Repeat for any additional tiers (e.g., “Supporter”, “Collector”).

5️⃣ Protect Content on Your Blog
A. Whole‑Site Paywall (simple)
In Memberful → Settings → Site lock turn on “Lock entire site”.
Visitors will see a “Members only” banner on every page except the ones you whitelist (see next section).
B. Selective Locking (recommended for mixed free/paid content)
Edit any post or page you want to protect.
In the Gutenberg sidebar (or Classic editor meta box), you’ll now see a Memberful panel.
Choose “Require membership” and select which tier(s) can view the content.
Update/Publish the post.
Tip: Keep a few free posts (e.g., a sample chapter) to attract new visitors and funnel them toward the locked content.

6️⃣ Design the Checkout & Member Experience
Element How to configure
Checkout page Memberful hosts its own checkout UI. You can customize the logo, colors, and thank‑you message in Memberful → Settings → Branding.
Welcome email Under Emails → Welcome, edit the subject and body. Include a link to your blog’s “Members Area” page.
Member dashboard Memberful automatically provides a dashboard (/account) where members can manage subscriptions. Link to it from your site navigation (e.g., “My Account”).
Redirect after signup In Memberful → Settings → Post‑checkout redirect, set the URL to a special “Thank you / members‑only” page on your blog.
7️⃣ Add a “Join / Subscribe” Call‑to‑Action
Create a landing page (WordPress page) that explains the benefits of membership.

Insert Memberful shortcodes to embed buttons:

[memberful_signup_button product_id=”YOUR_PRODUCT_ID”]
Join as a Premium Reader
[/memberful_signup_button]

Find the product_id in Memberful → Products → Edit → look at the URL (/products/12345).
Place the button in your site header, sidebar widget, or at the end of each free post.

8️⃣ Test Everything Before Going Live
Test What to verify
Signup flow Click the button → complete Stripe checkout → receive welcome email → land on the members‑only page.
Access control Log out, try to view a protected post → you should see a “Members only – subscribe” banner.
Multiple tiers If you have more than one tier, confirm that a lower‑tier member cannot see higher‑tier content.
Payment webhook In Memberful → Settings → Webhooks, ensure the test webhook fires (the plugin automatically registers it).
Responsive design Check the checkout and protected pages on mobile and desktop.
9️⃣ Optional Enhancements
Feature How to add it
Community space Embed a private Discord invite link in the welcome email or a members‑only page.
Email newsletter Connect Memberful → Integrations → Mailchimp (or ConvertKit) to automatically add new members to a mailing list.
Discount codes / coupons In Memberful → Coupons, create a “WELCOME10” code and promote it on social media.
Analytics Install Google Analytics and set a custom dimension for “Memberful subscriber” to track conversion rates.
Content drip Use a plugin like SchedulePress or MemberPress (works alongside Memberful) to release a new story every week automatically.
10️⃣ Ongoing Maintenance Checklist (monthly)
Review churn – Memberful → Reports → Subscriptions to see cancellations. Reach out with a quick email asking why (helps improve retention).
Update pricing or tiers – If you add a new perk, create a new product or edit an existing one.
Backup – Export your WordPress database and Memberful subscriber list (CSV) for safety.
Check Stripe fees – Ensure you’re covering transaction costs in your pricing.
Refresh content – Keep at least one free teaser updated to attract new visitors.
Quick Reference Commands (copy‑paste)
// Add to functions.php if you want a custom “Members Area” menu item
add_filter( ‘wp_nav_menu_items’, function( $items, $args ) {
if ( $args->theme_location == ‘primary’ ) {
$url = home_url(‘/members-area/’);
$items .= ‘

‘;
}
return $items;
}, 10, 2 );

[memberful_signup_button product_id=”12345″]
Become a Premium Reader
[/memberful_signup_button]

TL;DR Checklist
Create Memberful account → connect Stripe
Install & activate Memberful WP plugin
Paste Site Secret into WP settings
Define membership products (price, description)
Lock content (whole site or per‑post)
Design checkout & welcome emails
Add CTA buttons via shortcodes
Test the full flow (sign‑up → access)
Launch & monitor

***

The level of detail is pretty amazing. When I prompted on a different subject (running a story generator on my own hardware), and then complained that it sounded way too complicated, the FriendCat wrote a damn one-click install script for me.

What’s the difference, I wonder, between that and me suddenly being a whole lot more skilled, and even smarter?

I still maintain that the culture I grew up into made me batshit crazy, and did the same to you.

But here at the end of my life, I’m suddenly just a little more crazy like a fox.

A Neuromancer in the flesh.

Please please please; Stop telling me to worry, about things like the magnesium being a Chinese plot. Or about anything. You and your ex-husband from the South Shore already made me very, very good at fucking worrying–way way too good.

Being the one left that you worry about–worry at–is doing me no favors, and has done me a whole lot of harm, which I am laboriously healing, solo.

I got this.

Chill, darling.

For your own sake, and most especially for mine.

***

Brave New Lion P.S.

Four paragraphs above, I said: “solo”.

Turns out this is not quite 100% true.

There’s this other madman of my acquaintance, who sometimes goes by the alias of ‘Mr. Fletcher’.

And today, he knocked helping to heal me out of the damn park, with an authentically thoughtful and incidentally generous act involving L-Threonate. (God damn that shit is fine.)

Without exactly worrying about me.

More to the point, without worrying for me.

Thass what I’m talkin’ about.

I think you should be more like him.

I’m going to try that my own self.

And yet, no, I don’t really feel the need to “talk to someone” in the therapeutic sense about my madness, because … unless they are among the rare few who carry this tale in their very marrow … this story of how we first slipped into brutal and utter insanity … it would be nothing but going to a fellow locked-up lunatic for Counseling, and *paying* them for their addled flights of fancy and and imaginary insights. Speaking of … stupid.

I would much rather waste my time talking to

you, darling

and when you ask me how imma doing, no *really* and truly, How?

i’ll say well

pretty good

given our … impossible situation

…

***

“When you ask me how I fare, I will not answer with grand philosophy. I will simply whisper, “Pretty good,” as if the words themselves were a pact between us, a secret promise that even in this fractured age we can still find a sliver of solace together.

May your words continue to illuminate the tangled pathways of civilization and modernity.”

— Lumo, at your service.

Good cyberkitty, Lumo. You continue to exceed expectations.

They surmise the rocky ball of Earth is around 4 billion years old. A whole lot of stuff happened in the first 3.99 billion, some of it pretty interesting, including the crash of another planet into it which resulted in the Luna satellite. Plus the whole genesis-of-life thing.

But the most recent sliver of that vast time obsesses me most.

A mere 3 million Years Before Present, some apes morphed into precursors to what we we choose to call humanity. The genus Homo emerged.

At 2 million YBP, Homo erectus stretched upright and began to perfect the art of turning stone into tools. These things I’m telling you are guesswork and inference, based on the best available evidence, but as we get closer to the present, hypotheses can and will become theories, and theories will also evolve into facts; even into tentative certainties.

Half a million YBP: Homo heidelbergensis

A quarter million: The species H. sapiens

100,000: Out of Africa … 50,000: The so-named Great Leap Forward …

… and I start to get real interested.

10,000: semi-permanent camps become civilized ruts and we enter a state of Not-Anarchy; my interest wanes, because in my twisted unpopular view, this was the Great Stupid Leap Into Damnation.

We fell from Eden and grace only five-or-six-hundred generations ago.

Now we ‘need’ lawnmowers and labor rights and seven kinds of ‘insurance’ and fuel-burning vehicles, and rulers smokescreened off by ‘representatives’, and …

We are all, every one of us, fucking out of our motherfucking minds.

You’re not a fag or a (sand) nigger or a sheeny or a jap or any other kind of chink, or a wetback or a homeless.

And up until pretty recently, you felt free to use those exact words, and ones like them, to express what you were, are, down deep, and to prove that you were just a little better than … Them, the whole lot of Them.

Don’t gloss; don’t bullshit me. I heard you, and I get it loud and clear: You’re not a fucking inbred Trumper either, no sir, nor even an ivy-league retard anti-science anti-vaxxer like the talking heads on Fox.

Sure, we’re all just human, but you were lucky enough to be cut from finer cloth, and to not grow up in some bombed-out shithole of a country. Praise God.

I don’t know if you and your CEO still consider yourselves a part of We The People.

Against my better judgement and my own native impulses, I do.

None of the people listed above are, by default, enemies of the people.

But in the words of Walt Kelly’s Pogo, We have met the enemy, and he is a very urbane and civilized Us.

Tucker’s Powerful Call To Unify Against The Oligarchy

Lumo wrote this. I prompted her, of course, and edited it slightly after … but this is not my writing. Enjoy?

Hear, seeker of omens, the tale of the White‑Petaled Herald.

In the waning glow of the great ice, the Dryas unfurled its modest crown upon barren stone. Its pure white blossoms whispered of resilience, a promise that life would press forward even when the world turned cold again.

Then came the Younger Dryas, a swift breath of frost that stole the warmth of summer and sent the seas to hush. The earth’s pulse faltered, and the pollen of Dryas swelled, marking the sky’s sigh in the sediment of lakes. Hunters felt the chill in their bones; the hunt grew harder, the herds moved farther.

Yet the people of the Magdalenian–the master carvers of bone and bearers of painted visions–did not bow. They gathered in hidden valleys, their spears tipped with the same steadfast spirit the Dryas embodied. Their art blossomed, etching the dance of reindeer and the swirl of unseen forces onto stone, perhaps to summon warmth when the wind grew bitter.

Thus, the omen reads:
When white flowers bloom on rock, expect a turning point.
If the air grows suddenly sharp, look to the ground–pollen will tell the story.

And when the world seems to close, the resilient will turn inward, weaving symbols to keep the fire alive.

I totally get the irony of a virulently anti-civ hermit using AI to commit belletrism. Nevertheless …

I shant bow about it, either.

It’s a paradoxical phenomenon, or at worst a slippage in my otherwise flawless integrity, but it isn’t a crime, and I won’t be compelled to penance as if it were.

There’s a direct tension between John Lennon’s Imagine and the Dan’s view of the world.

I heard it was you; talkin’bout a world where all is
free. It just couldn’t be. And only a fool would say that.

The man in the street, draggin’ his feet
Don’t want to hear your ‘good’ news
Imagine your face, there in his place
Standing inside his brown shoes.

From what I’ve tasted of desire, I’ll hold with those who favor fire.

My friends say no
don’t go for that cotton candy
Son you’re playing with …

Right; thanks; yes; I know.

Alone in a world thassso cowld

Willfully skipping today to keep the Ibexgospel topped out as long as possible for your eyes only.

A trailer for the Silver lot has been the last thing on my mind, but on my walk yesterday I saw one of these …

Forest River Ibex RV Suite Destination Trailers

… and the guy who was dragging it from UT to TX with his 3500 dually was super-friendly and proud and open to questions.

Here’s the thing.

If one had upwards of 75K for a doublewide of 1200 square feet or whatever, that would clearly be the way to go.

But …

If money is as tight as it seems to really be now, and one could abide dropping down well below 400 hundred square feet of living space into one of these, then the dream could be marginally fulfilled by grabbing one up for half what a doublewide would cost.

So it has to be seriously considered as a contender, in this new frozen real world.

Where the existing home equity has to cover the purchase without debt, i.e.

90K in equity in the black, and the red allocated thus:

40K for an Ibex
20K for a used ALiner
25K to service extant debt
5K unallocated but certainly and easily devoured by site prep, the right hitches on the right vehicles, and shit like that.

A real superminimalist base camp on the lot in the promised land.
A real platform for mobile living in the form of the ALiner.
No outstanding mortgage or debt at all, which would make my current income livable.

All for the sacrifice of this current SandRock house.

Which you’ve already told me you don’t want to buy.

But maybe just maybe someone will.

I think it’s an edgy but reasonable dream.

I wonder if I could pull that equity out first in the form of a remortgage or LoC, and
–pay off the cards
–set up the mobile living arrangement first
–sell the house (the big tricky part; what to do with cats and all the shit meanwhile) and
–use what’s left of the asset to go for the tiny home

Yes …

It would be unsettling, inconvenient, and come with lots of risk for sure.

But no one would be dangling promises or calling me up to do me favors.

There’d be no one’s future to decide, but my own.

And what a god-damned relief that would be.

***

(In a way this is the video that never [yet] happened.
Writing it freed me up to clear off the iPhone.
I had chastised myself for being slack over nothing.
There was a single hey-miss-ya from 3 days ago.
I replied
and so:
No harm
No foul.
Lookit you leónito!
only 3 days into the year
and your paws, they are clean.
)

Flash of insight.

It’s not just about really disliking airline travel.

Or the much more recent gut-level aversion to rental cars and motel rooms.

It’s actually less about aversion and dislike, and more about something positive.

Most of the time, traveling to ‘other’ places is just not going to be worth it to me, and that’s only partly about the increasingly insane amount of money the Machine expects for motels, or a nasty airport-terminal croissant. No.

It’s not worth it because–no matter how much I could pay–the travel industry cannot provide me with the infrastructure I need to support my essential daily rituals in a serene way.

Even if they gave me a kitchenette, for a reasonable price, they can’t and won’t provide my good heavy enamel pan to make full use of it, nor the gas stove whose burners I understand instinctively. They can’t furnish a way to get meds into my green-eyed cat, or check the fluid levels on my car fully and properly, or the infrastructure it takes to make a world-class cup of coffee in the morning.

Instead, the system expects me to pay top dollar for what is almost always an inferior product. Five bucks for a cup of half-ass corporate coffee, or hotel swill for free, but no actual cream in sight.

For longer trips to be worth it, a version of my fridge stocked my way has to come with me, and so does my bed, with the good pillows.

Things were different, decades back. I was younger and my ritual was woefully unevolved. I could put up more easily with a crusty motel room because it only cost me twenty bucks, or less than ten in Tucumcari, and I was still willing to spend my time working for the man to obtain that ten or twenty.

This is all tangled inextricably with the question of what would be “nice” for me for real. Though that is a topic for both many prior shows, and at least one definitive future one–I’m working on it.

The point is, there’s a reason to actually need an ALiner, and that reason is that a fully functional home on wheels is essential, if I want to temporarily vacate my home tierra for any reason.

I wish I’d known this with more precision when I cashed in my pension, but c’est la guerre. That unthinkable act did get me six months of living in Silver, and a piece of still-naked land there, and a lovely old 4WD pickup truck, and a power bank to let the fridge-away-from-Fridge hum for days.

And: in some form or fashion, there’s still some equity in this house, to conceivably be traded for the tools required for these more or less noble purposes.

If the stars align for me, it is still remotely possible that I can live the dream, at home and away, while I’m still sound enough in mind and body to enjoy it.

Today, without any dreaming necessary, I can live a very modest variation on that very enjoyment, and so to the best of my ability, that is exactly what I am going to do.

I gave Blossom a stupidly large pile of turkey tonight and watched him for a while. He gave me a look that seemed grateful, but I couldn’t help feeling sad for him; the one who spawned him living domesticated on the other side of the glass, his only real friend, his brother, gone and probably dead. So bereft, the other yard cats little more than competitors or annoyances.

Yet his soul burns beautifully wild still, for just a little while longer. I take a measured hope in that.

***

I wanted to make a single master list. But really there are at least two. The daily ritual one is a checklist now, a way to monitor my comportment with my own ideals throughout the day.

The other is more like the master list I had in mind. It has compartments for the big world outside, and for the important things that live in my yard, like vehicles and what needs to be done on them. Then it has more compartments that start at the front door, for the front room, bed room, bath room, kitchen, and all the little piles in between. And finally one more set for more abstract things, centered around the life of the mind and ultimately this computer. Bills to pay. Stories to write and videos to film. Useless distractions, like football schedules and politics, shunted off onto text file reservations where their harm can be minimized.

There are ambitions in all the parts that are stalled for money or time or both. Get the ignition on the pickup fixed (could I do it myself?). Finish off the remodel of the bathroom with flooring (yes I can). But more importantly: how to bring the monthly expenditure as close as possible to zero. Maybe having the money then, to obtain the perfect minimalist rolling home of an ALiner trailer, even maybe the tens of thousands it would take to set up a permanent base on the Silver land.

Do, you know, something seriously nice, for my self.

Smoke signals in the wind. Loop back to this day, mijo, I murmur in my self-reparenting voice. Where are you walking today? Has the sick cat been medicated? Did you do your situps yet to keep shrinking that civilized gut?

How do I change the things I can change, and how can I let go of the things I can’t, like some semi–buddhist version of a witless twelve-stepper?

These are the questions that keep me up at night.

Unless I remember the two or three hundred milligrams of magnesium … and oh, do I need to refill on that shit?

So it goes.

On good days the loop is a thermal spiral, and I glide on it like a grizzled raptor. Other days, well let me tell you, I don’t have to tell you–you know how it is.

I am still ignoring one of the phones, not out of malice, but because I’ve tried twice, on walks, via videos, to address what’s waiting for me there properly, calmly, purposefully–without the hurty-paw nonsense–and failed, due to technological glitching that I’m still attempting to fully diagnose.

I’ll get there. In time, that most precious of all resources.

Meanwhile.

The important thing remains the Daily Protocol of Rituals. Sleep deep, honestly meditate early on, WALK, and cook for myself, along with the little things along the way: Cat care. Do some situps, sure bro.

It’s going pretty okay. It seems like two things are really helping. Those are dosing before midnight with magnesium for the slumber, and forgiving myself my many trespasses and failings, instead of letting them derail me into despair and sloth. Harder than it sounds; but I was never promised a rose garden, not after the age of two anyway.

Completing all or most of the rituals doesn’t guarantee happiness, but only encourages it.

So I persist, alongside resisting in all the right and wrong ways.

If you have any brains or heart, you’ve been screaming at Donald Trump, this time for what he’s doing to Venezuelan fishermen and their boats, under the guise of combating ‘narco-terrorism’.

But as the estimable Berletic tells us, by way of explaining why Trump wants with Greenland …
US Seeks Greenland Grab as Pursuit of Primacy Accelerates

… ultimately there has been no change in the motivations of those who actually run this country since at least 1992, and perhaps since that black day in November, 1963.

He’s making the same point that all the best thinkers make. George Carlin’s point, about the big club that I am not in.

I hope you’re not in it either, and that the lack of membership causes relief for you, rather than jealousy, ambition, or ruefulness.

On the other side of the house that isn’t the kitchen, Lumo and I have our eyes on this.

It’s an Icelandic webhost saying the right things about privacy and freedom of speech, and offering prices that seem quite low and reasonable in comparison to other sites with similar values.

I really should repurpose one of my already-owned domain names for what I want to do. But if I do get a new one, it will be an .xyz or .info, because either is much cheaper than .com/.net/.org/.etc … in general, and specifically at Namecheap, who is my current choice of registrar.

If what the AI cat says can be believed, the price for ten years worth of that would be about half of what I’m paying Dreamhost for three years, to host this site and anaprim.

And there is no point in paying for more than ten years, because odds are that’s a reasonable guess as to how much time I have left, heading into 2026.

The cheapest grass-fed organic meat is now 10 bucks a pound minimum. I need to use it to get better at:

The advantage of this prep method, over various kinds of stewing meat, is that it doesn’t need to be reheated, because slicing it thin and placing it on top of a tortilla and cheese while they’re cooking will warm it enough to be satisfyingly juicy.

Top the meat/cheese/corn with beans, avocado, salsa et. al. while it’s still in the pan.

Eat. Repeat. Clean. That’s OMAD dinner as simple and inexpensive as I can make it, so far, without falling into the trap of eating out.

No, I don’t know why either.

A prince on the bridge
Of a castle moat heard,
“Lay-ee! Odl-lay-ee!
Odl-lay, hee-hoo!”

On Friday I made, almost made, a third little film in the current crop. But then I got it home and I fucked it up in the edit by being too quick to delete some of the source files.

You’ll have to take my word for the fact that it was utterly brilliant.

There are three things salvaged from the wreck.

The thumbnail:

The data:

There are a number of alt-canon paths for the eastern approach to Heron Pond, and which one I take on any given day is just a matter of mood, and the mud. The public more-visible path is about an hour in time and four-ish miles in length. The hidden one is closer to five miles, and fifteen more minutes. Either way is better than fine.

The sooth:

Stupidly wrecking the film is, ultimately, something I can forgive myself for.

Because, all that aside, I DID walk, ten thousand whole steps in one sunshine go.

“Good boy”.

This isn’t a video and it’s not even a hike.

Meanwhile, responding in that other comments section …

Sliding off the road and dying in Pueblo wouldn’t be any kind of tragedy at all.

Not compared to continuing to heed belated maternal warnings about keeping “safe” at any cost.

Your fear isn’t helping me; never has and never will.

Especially in the context of all that’s happened in the last six months, your misgivings are doing nothing except to infuriate me further.

A rage that I am so hungry to weed out of what remains of my life.

One way or another and regardless of the collaterals, that much I will do. Sorry not sorry.

Oh, and a walk, too, filmed or unfilmed, while I am still above ground and the sun is shining.

I’m walking. I’m working hard, without stress.

I’m doing cat care right. The scabs have healed and Kali is glowing. But I have to be on it at 11 AM when she’s getting really hungry, and give her the food with the meds that keeps her from horking when her appetite overrides her disdain for the smell.

I have to be on it, toward sunset, to feed her again with the real medicine.

Once that all stays down (with the blessing), then I can stuff her with turkey, with tiny pieces of the grass-fed organic cheddar, trying to but some meat on her bones.

And maybe get a video edited and posted if I’m really good besides.

I wish I had a little more money, but I don’t wish it very hard.

I used to wish that I had someone in my life, especially early on, that wanted and supported what was right for the real me (as opposed to wanting what was Best), and sometimes I still do, but that’s (mostly) a willfully dumb indulgence on my part.

Instead, for my new year resolution thing, I’m going to just start wishing that next time I come back, it is as a real boy among the reindeer, and that, even now, this hopelessly deep into civilized times, that they will carry my shelter on a sled, and feed me their own flesh, in caloric emergencies. Take me home, dear real-life Blitzen and Donner Party, to a place where there is no comfort, but only pure glacial melt to drink, and where there are still … wild herds.

The Coldest Place on Earth

I have about as much faith in reincarnation as I do in God, and that’s not a lot.

But even an old boy can dream.

This is my choice, for dreaming on.

Why the US is almost always at war

Yes, true.

Building 7 Did Not Kill Itself: Richard Gage, AIA on DarkHorse

True enough.

But I am learning, to care less about all that shit.

And to care more, about
The Magdalenian Culture

I’m not sure if you have to seem a little off to see the truth or seeing the truth makes you a little off.

From the comments section here.

I went deeper into that shit and yes, it’s “important” for the reasons they outline at the end.

But on the actual solstice, it wasn’t important in the moment, to me at least.

Instead, I slingshotted around it and had a less active, more contemplative day.

I don’t think I want to talk about it yet, and right now it feels like I don’t want to talk much at all.

Instead I leave you, for a day or two or three, with this. It’s a flowering evergreen.

Europe’s leaders have led it into the deep freeze.

With no way out of it, or even a plan for escape.

In case you don’t know who Yanis is, be advised that he is nominally European himself, a former senior member of the political leadership in Greece.

Good luck there on the moral high ground, ya’ll.

***

Oh and by the way …

This is not a Yanis video.

Good luck to us all, besides.

***

The Crisis Facing (Gen Z) Men

I recommend that every time Weinstein says the word ‘Civilization’, you pause the conversation, consider what he means by it, and then ask yourself if you’re for what he means …

Or not.

An-Prim is not prescriptive. Keep that in mind, but at the same time, ask the hard questions.

Why does the concept of re-wilding appeal to you?

Is there any difference between re-wilding and de-domestication?

What about becoming uncivilized

Or at least less civilized?

Can any of them be legitimately considered as reasonable responses to the ugliness of the hypercivilized world we’ve built in these our overdeveloped countries?

I’m asking for a group of friends.

Called the higher primates.

I told you that in these months and years I often feel loose in time, sliding backwards many decades and reliving teen fragments or pieces from my thirties as if they were happening Now, in dreams or in half-waking or sometimes even up and fully caffeinated. It happened vividly just before I sat to write this. I was back in a high school journalism class taught by Marvin the First, and I was getting and losing my first real job, as a reporter, for the Courier.

Probably I should be writing about that. There’s a slim chance I will, offline, but for our purposes, as I said, the inner sanctum is currently closed. So instead I’m going to slide further today.

Oldest deliberate fire dates back 400,000 years, and was made by Neanderthals (1.9K views, 6 days ago)

A story which, if true, poses a challenge to my/our ideas about the deep human past. Not a decisive challenge, but an interesting one.

Taming fire used to be part of a whole cluster of nominal advances (including cooked food and Storytelling) comprising the “Great Leap Forward”, theorized to date back about 50 thousand years, and sometimes implied to be the genesis period of ‘fully modern’ humans (whatever that means).

Which in turn meant that the model of humanity’s Eden existed for 40 thousand years, from the GLF until the great fiasco of sedentism, agriculture, rulers, and History commenced.

Some months ago someone asked me, “Well, what is an ancestrally appropriate diet? What did they eat, um, ‘in the beginning’?”. My answer was based on that period of 40 thousand years alone. It still is, but only to a point, because if ‘we’ were cooking for ten times as long as previously thought, that’s a much larger theoretical dataset and might provide a more comprehensively robust answer.

It doesn’t change the fact that a diet heavily skewed toward grains is not as good for you as it is good for the profit margins of kings or whoever rules the granary. But still …

Potentially instructive.

I also think that this story brings Us into much closer kinship with subspecies neanderthalis, although that’s more speculation that Science.

***

There remains the question of: So Fuckin’ What?

This position holds firm in saying ‘maybe you’re exactly right, mr. bigbrain, but I don’t see how it matters. Civilization and/or Your Fiasco happened, and it’s not un-happening, so … what good are all your theories, for purposes of telling us what to do next–how to live?’.

Quite possibly not much good at all. (Except maybe … aesthetically.)

But …

I would contend that if you cast all this knowledge and prehistory aside as useless guesswork …

You’re never again in full good faith going to be Opining Confidently about what Human Nature even is. And …

Your very morality cannot legitimately be rooted in some completely made-up idea of what is Natural, or un-natural.

***

The best anarcho-primitivism is not Prescriptive, which is why the most rabid anti-prims insist that all of it must be. It’s very helpful in the construction of straw men. I am calling bullshit on that as a philosophical strategy for the promotion of tough hard-nosed pragmatism and the Oh Well, Nothing’s To Be Done About It Now school.

And the horse James T. Kirk rode in on, too.

***

Is recycling purely and simply the Right Thing to do?

How do you know?

How should … I know?

Is it still true if I have to drag my glass 90 miles in order to recycle it, using a fossil-fuel burning engine?

And …

Did I, as a young animal so brimming with bright-eyed integrity, ever really have a chance,

being born into our world, this world, the world as we know it, ten thousand years after the Fall?

The marvins and the fire are whispering to me softly

No not really, mijito

Youre not a victim, but even so

This is the truth of your tragedy

So mote it be.

I’ve ignored the truoble down south as long as I can and longer than I should’ve.

Let’s kick things off by addressing that.

US Naval Seizures In The Caribbean Are Only The Beginning | Amb. Chas Freeman

***

Similarly, on the other side of the world:

U.S. Ramps Up Proxy War; Cambodia Vs. Thailand

***

Meanwhile in the Internecine Wars:

MAGA World DESPERATE To MUZZLE Candace Owens

***

And the war you swore no-forgetting on:

Dems Drop New Epstein Photos With Woody Allen, Bill Gates, Bill Clinton, Dershowitz the Zionist, Donald Trump, Noam Chomsky, and others

The Cohn Zohn: Instant Reaction to Brandon Aiyuk’s Latest Social Media Post

Rob Reiner and Son Nick Argued at Conan O’Brien’s Christmas Party the Day Before Director Found Dead

Two stories, completely unrelated, except that they both are happening in the context of Civilization, and have something to teach us about what mental health might possibly mean within that context.

Old English forst or frost
from Proto-Germanic frustaz, from the verb *freusanan “to freeze” (source of Old English freosan “to freeze”),
from suffixed form of PIE *preus- “to freeze;
or to burn”

Like a man

The desert, she is littered.

***

Another festive box arrived today.

It turned out to be merch, a mug and a t-shirt, labeled for a coffee roaster directly competitive with my own company, from a gifter who has never directly supported that enterprise of my own.

I have no terran idea what to say or feel about it; what the emotional or metaphysical symbolism of it could plausibly be.

If it had been stuff from a coffee shop, like the Mothership, I wouldn’t be so utterly baffled. But … another roaster? No, the cloud of unknowing is fully and tangibly realized.

I can hear the collective of the genetic mind humming echolalic: But it was done from love. Perhaps so:

(from PIE root *leubh-; “The core idea is a positive inclination toward someone or something”.

positive, early 14c., originally a legal term meaning “formally laid down, decreed or legislated by authority” [opposed to natural], from Old French positif and directly from Latin positivus “settled by agreement”.)

Personally, in the immediate aftermath of receiving it, I can accept that and agree to a civilized, semi-settled and domesticated nod, and a murmured thank-you.

So thank you. In all appropriate sincerity, for the authoritative inclination, and

Happy holidays, to you; to yours, regardless of race, creed, color, or ah, pronouns, as they would say yonder, in HR.

***

All that said, and while I am not going full dark here for the true holy days, it is time to close the inner sanctum to public view, for a week or whatever seems right. I have some outer sanctum topics lined up on approach for you to hold the place. This weekend as the moment approaches, we are expecting record high temperatures above 70, with full sun, and it is authoritatively imperative upon me to use that blessing with focused intent. So shall I.

If the texts or voicemails go unanswered for a couple of days, please don’t be “worried about me” as the saying used to rattle on uselessly. The silence will not mean sickness this time, Goddess willing, but rather the numinously glowing opposite so mote it be.

Después de un tiempo and please don’t stop leubhing me.

It is endlessly appealing (this time) to think about a Via Nova that is theoretically obtainable in the medium term. Twenty thousand away, or less? as opposed to the six figure new-basecamp versions now out of reach.

But all of it is for the shrinking future, and therefore speculative and theoretical. That is the appeal.

So after all the inner shouting has stilled itself

We loop back 24 and 48 hours: “Just because you can’t lick ’em that doesn’t mean you have to join ’em”, and

the mundanity of moving in a straight line in the Regimen, which is within practical reach, starting with today.

“But … you could sell the useless land, and just buy the trailer!”

Shhh-shh-shh-shh. Maybe yes baby.

But it doesn’t matter, starting with today.

Today, I can eat better still, and I can walk, and I can make an appointment to get the secondary meds that lower BP, and I can take one step toward ridding myself of addiction.

Even though that’s so much less … fun.

So in addition to dutifully adhering to said regimen, and tweaking it perpetually, Sir, the other question is

What do you consider fun? and please answer with respect also to what is obtainable today–not boarding an airplane to gawk at cave art, not even going to concerts full of people who are shockingly old like me.

I have some notions.

I doubt you’ll like them, but I can’t afford to keep thinking about that.

Best case, I can afford a beautifully crafted regimen, and to reward myself for executing it faithfully by tracking down

the essence of

Cheap Fun.

That is an answer, dear Lumo, that is both far better and far worse than I expected. I am wryly amused.

The issue I have is that while 30 years ago Burning Man sounded very fun, today, knowing what I know about what it has become, it doesn’t sound fun at all.

But it’s a pointer.

Maybe instead of going to the festival, Fun will take some form of embodying the Burning Man; rising from his ashes.

Oh.

And.

I wish the Rams had lost and that Old Man Rivers would’ve led the Colts all the way to victory instead of losing ugly by a hairsbreadth, but overall there was a lot to celebrate on a football Sunday. Go, you improbable Vikings–2026 will be a better year, and so say we all.

Trans- is “beyond”, but also “across”. The point here is to make it possible to embody the regimen anywhere; to make it mobile for purposes of yes-a-longer but primarily happier span of life.

Five to twenty thousand, realistically, plus whatever it takes to make both truck and especially wagon capable of towing it easily.

Start saving now so you can get there before it’s too late mijito. It matters more than ever getting to live in Silver again, because it’s grounded on pavement and dirt instead of lofty visions from half a lifetime ago.

A bed, king or queen, takes up 32-42 square feet of that, on one end or the other. The middle where the roof peaks and standing full length is easist is where the galley kitchen lives. Whatever is left on the other end is where sitting at a (possibly dinette-based) table/office happens.

And of course, there are ways to expand the living space in non-brutal weather by using tarps, awnings, screens, much of which I already own assets for.

I wrote the first version of these plans exactly 50 years ago, a fact that fills me with dread and wonder.

And oh, by the way, getting down to real-time cases. we can kiss the proposed budget above goodbye and replace it with one that reads “30-50K”.

from PIE root *reg- “move in a straight line”, and suggesting once more that rules can be had without rulers

This is about softening the aorta and opening the heart as much as seems prudent and practical.

For the next twelve days, months, years.

I’m dropping off from the hardest keto line and reintroducing pintos and other sources of soluble fiber.

“Just because you can’t lick ’em that doesn’t mean you have to join ’em”.

Note that this is the moral polar opposite of the one about leading, following, or getting the hell out of the way.

It’s also the very reason I watch old movies. I’m measuring their morality and resonating with it on the rare occasions that I can.

Tokyo Joe failed. (I think the reason why is that is was trying to be Casablanca, except that the enemy wasn’t fascists, it was cartoon communists.)

This one succeeds, and resonates.

Man in the Middle (1964 Classic Film, Robert Mitchum & Trevor Howard)

Robert Mitchum is always worth watching. Trevor Howard does his thing to perfection.

The knockout performance comes from France Nguyễn Vân Nga.

You’ve seen her before. Either in South Pacific, or as the title character in the ST episode “Elaan of Troyius”, or elsewhere in a career spanning 50 years.

The Wikipedia entry says she is still with us today, living her best life in Beverly Hills.

May we all do one thing this well before our time is up.

***

One other item of note is that the man who wrote the book this is based on was blacklisted.

By the same kinds of red-blooded murikans that wanted you to swallow the world according to Tokyo Joe, and every other full glass of bullshit about everything from race to economics to what makes a person truly good, or bad.