Paradise: Earth

And yet, some lies are more consequential than others. (potential trigger warnings apply)

long version

Candace Conti’s version

***

For what it’s worth, all the ex-JW stuff I watch is no more important to my life and philosophy than all the things the Witnesses themselves believe.

Rather, it’s headphone filler for me, not really too different from watching ex-Scientologists, or videos about the Mafia, or plane crash investigations, or sports dudes talking about the upcoming football season.

It might well be that I should wean myself off all these distracting addictions.

Pray for me.

***

The Crossroads of the Ozzy Story and the One About Mass Starvation in Gaza

***

Gen Z is Just Copying Corporate Tactics to Never Work Again

Capitalism sucks because it is exactly socialism, but for corporations.

***

You’ve Been Living by 1950s Propaganda Without Even Knowing It

The things you never realized about lawns, cake mix, race, and the body mass index.

Chill_Dude_Light_Mode

Nothin’

It used to be
That there was next to nothing in this town.

But then
I quit every job and boss
And I started eating better
and better

So, now, there is nothing in this town.
Except my own home fortress and barb wire yard
Plus a few places to spend my steps walking
And I like it that way.

Playhouse 390

The Change In Perceptions Re: Trump (M. Blumenthal)

***


Old Hickory Deluxe Playhouse

The closet thing to a full 399 square foot (max ‘tiny house’) is a 14 x 28 shell at 392.

The base price for it, with ‘playhouse’ additions, is $15000.

Of course that’s nowhere near the real price, because it doesn’t include blueprints and code enforcement modifications, or transporting of the built house, or leveling the land / pouring a slab, or connecting utilities, or insulating it or drywalling it or furnishing it.

Does that all run it up to $30K? 40K? To early to say, but budgeting 50K seems prudent.

The land is already paid for, and in fact that is true of two lots.

And 50K is roughly a mere third of the equity in the SandRock house whenever it may sell.

Leaving plenty free for a motel-room-replacement trailer, and even a perfect Alto Safari Condo alt-road-home, and a rebuild of the truck engine that would haul the latter.

The trailer(s) being especially necessary as a place to sleep in between leaving this present house and moving into the one pictured above.

Full-hookup trailer space in downtown Silver is $400 a month, maybe $500 by now in these inflationary days.

It all seems reasonably and affordably logical to me.

Text me and tell me where I’m wrong about that.

***

I will say: there is some logic, to just throwing up a doublewide for $20-30K more. It would be simpler, and it might be worth quite a bit more at resale, if reselling is what happens, because we’re talking triple the square footage and the ability to just say: this is a three-bedroom, one and a half or two bath.

Maybe that still happens, on one or the other of the lots.

/p0l/

Yes, it’s true that Hillary is, and was, a psycho.

And yes, it’s true that Obama was a criminal for many reasons, including masterminding the hoax that was ‘Russiagate’. That prosecution is legitimate and warranted.

But as your outrage builds about these things, please don’t forget that they’re finally coming out now precisely because they want you to forget about Epstein and trafficked girl babies, and the many powerful red and blue people who sampled of his evil candy.

Unearthed: NEW Photos, Videos Linking TRUMP AND EPSTEIN

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Joad

Right now I’m leaning real hard into the idea of a Hiker or a Vistabule or a TAG or a Road Toad Abode, not only because these are the cheapest, but because they are the lightest, and the smallest.

Smallest is a good thing because it means the least space to cool and heat for comfortable deep sleeping in any conditions.

And sleeping is all I have to care about, in the short term.

Moving just the mattress to a trailer frees up the entirety of the tow vehicle’s cargo space for other nice things like a portable fridge and stove and sink, which I already own.

This first and tiny trailer isn’t trying to be a home.

What it permanently replaces, I’m realizing, is instead: a motel room.

One which has no amenities, but also costs nothing, or next to nothing.

Roughly speaking that means it pays for itself in fifty travel nights, or 2-3 months worth at the outside.

If you could pay seven or nine thousand one time for life, and never again have to worry about booking a room no matter where the road took you: wouldn’t you do it?

I am militantly against renting.

This is the simplest solution, and very attainable.

***

Plus, if motel room replacement isn’t quite enough, and a real roadworthy home becomes necessary, then there are (admittedly less affordable) things to do about that too.

Someday. Perhaps.

I’ll sleep on that.

***

Somebody mentioned the concept of a ‘Springsteen Democrat’ today, and I like it.

It means a millionaire that markets themselves as a good friend of the workin’ man.

I can see where the phrase could come in handy, especially in conversations with

Management.

Please remember that when you are against workers organizing themselves and having rights and options, you are on the same side as Jeff Bezos and that witless tool that runs Starbucks.

Which might lead to complications.

Like cognitive dissonance, and possibly even tremulous myocardium.

Turning to the Sports Headlines

I want a sleeping place that pulls behind the most dependable car and is comfortable in all the ways regardless of geography or climate, hot or cold, parked at a suburban curbside or way out in the sticks.

Once I have that, I could start to think seriously at last about moving house for real and true.

It’s what matters now, and next.

Yes I’m pretty sure.

Roadworthy Listen

Per NPR this afternoon:

The top story was that a seriously mediocre pop singer, more renowned for his Antics than his Music, started his dirt nap at age 76.

Four or five headlines down, 21 children have starved to death in Gaza in the past three days.

You want me to speak up against your funding cuts, dear public radio?

First, do better and Be Real.

Yours truly,

V.

Pressure

Yes I understand that it would be good if I could get there early.

And stay longer too, of course, as per usual.

Please just be happy enough that thanks to my own herculean efforts, I can now afford to come at all, and realize that even so, it involves counting pennies and planning carefully and a fair amount of stress in an otherwise mostly stress-free routine.

It’s like going to Fraaance for me, sorta. Maybe worse, dollars to donuts.

***

Since I’m coming, which is to say going, my commitment here at the Spill may suffer a bit.

But maybe a pile of clips can come of it too, on the other side.

Fingers crossed.

***

It seems I’m going to need to get on medication for hypertension, because all the weight loss and exercise hasn’t brought the number down to normal. I tested it myself at home.

Fortunately the drug of choice has been generic since 1920, so it shouldn’t cost much.

Getting hold of some has been the primary effort today.

Now it’s time to pack.

Clairity

She burns
with satin rage.

What feels good, and maybe best, is giving it all up to the Femme.

Who She is though, well
it’s been a journey to ascertain.

Crash and Burn

Confirmed: Air India 171’s Failure Explained

As reported yesterday. But …

The aviation community and media in India are fiercely rejecting this narrative and trying to blame Boeing software or hardware for the tragedy, rather than a psychological malfunction on the part of one of their own.

My own perspective is that it doesn’t matter either way.

That instead, either way, the fault is on the inherent stresses within ‘our’ modern way of life, including but not limited to the profit motive.

That either way, finger-pointing and being right and knowing what the Truth and the Lie are is all just dancing with the deck chairs on Titanic.

I am strongly inclined to distance myself from both the fact-finding, and the guesswork and theories about motivations and fault.

And to stop going to airports, renting cars, booking motels, and driving on interstates, and put my energies into simpler alternative strategies for traveling, and for ways of living right here at home.

Madness World

Air India 171 Update: Fuel Cutoff Switches in ‘Cutoff’ Position

The strong early implication being that cutting off fuel to both engines was a deliberate act on the part of one of the pilots. A suicide resulting in multiple homicides of both passengers and many people on the ground.

It wouldn’t be the first time in these last few sad years.

The world grows ever more complicated and stressful.

Success and failure are ever harder to define.

Then the profit motive is laid over the top of it all and this results directly in still more fatalities and suffering.

Simplifying your existence and mine too is increasingly becoming a matter of life and death.

“Civilization” is not your friend.

A Week Past the 4th

Israel and Epstein, Democracy and Blackmail

Do you need to have any other questions answered before you’re ready to revolt?

Coming in on a sharp tangent, I believe you’re not ready because you still think of this place as the home of truth, JUSTICE, and some long-dead American way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We still ache for God or Superman to save us, from the corrupt child rapists and arms dealers and spies who rule us.

I don’t think he’s coming my dears.

I hope I’m wrong and I fear I’m not.

Showering Every Day

Please don’t feel bad about clicking nothing. I haven’t even seen them all-all the way through even my-self.

Jarmusch, Reichardt, and Me

Jim Jarmusch: I Love To Take The Subway By Myself (2007)

Dead Man Analysis – Why is William Blake in Purgatory?

Dead Man (1995) – Jim Jarmusch Q&A

102. Kelly Reichardt: Meek’s Cutoff

Todd Haynes’s Closet Picks

In a Lonely Place (1950) Original Trailer [HD]

Blank City | Full Movie | John Waters, Steve Buscemi, Jim Jarmusch, Lydia Lunch, Debbie Harry

***

Ah, faithful and discreet esclavo

This Generation Shall Not Examine Us (JW art of changing meanings, history & moving goalposts)

INTERVIEW WITH A FORMER ANOINTED ELDER

***

I confirmed today that the SW Word Fest is moved from October to March. So until the next solstice, that leaves the Birthdays trip in ten days, the one to Hatch at the end of August, and whatever that 60th/Thanksgiving turns into.

Also, by the time you read this I am supposed to have completed the next phase in pretend health care, for the sole purpose of keeping the mortar and pestle spice flowing.

Today proper is another trash day and I am really, really ready for it. Ahead of the curve even perhaps.

The Shop-Vac is my co-pilot.

State of the Dissidence

FBI, DOJ Say NO EPSTEIN LIST, No New Charges, No New Info

Wait, what?

STAFF CUTS at Weather Service Caused ALERT FAILURES for Texas Floods

Includes some stunning footage of a dry creekbed turning into a raging cascade in 20 minutes.

Elon Announces OFFICIAL LAUNCH of New ‘America Party’

The billionaire responsible for gutting the meteorologist’s corps decides to adopt the truth of the Uniparty in order to try wresting control away, for himself and his class, meaning: Nothing changes, except turning the duopoly into an unholy trinity.

America.

America.
God shed his grace on thee,
Till nobler men keep once again
Thy whiter jubilee!

No Particular Place To Dwell

late 13c., stacioun, “a place one normally occupies”

from Old French stacion, estacion “site, location; station of the Cross; stop”

from Latin stationem “a standing (firm), a post, job, position; a watch, guard, sentinel; anchorage, port”

related to stare “to stand,” from PIE root *sta- “to stand, make or be firm”

The first powered station wagons were custom-built Model T, a car with enough space in the rear to bring several people and their luggage from the train station to their country estate and back again. While we started calling them station wagons, the British referred to them, and still do, as an estate car.

***

Abandon your estate and move into the train station, obviating the need for a wagon.

Abandon your station and move into your wagon, obviating the need for estates or stations.

I’m not telling you, or myself, what to do.

I’m suggesting alternative solutions to the problem.

***

The Forester is said to feel like more of a minivan and less of an SUV.

The old RME feels like more of a wagon than either. Historically I would not think of that as a Cool thing.

Yet in practice it seems to be so, anyway.

***

It’s no problem for me to move away from the idea of an estate, or even a Home.

However, I don’t think settling for only camps quite works for me either.

Sanctuary is still the thing, and having it anywhere is still the ideal.

It might well be that all stations are created equal, and still be true that some are more equal than others.

Just Don’t Be Mean

After that, everything is permissible in the pursuit of your own integrity and Independence, from the Empire, from those who would rule you.

Kate Bornstein on What It Takes to Survive

I bought her books and went to see her speak in the winter after the towers came down. That was my turning point in the hell that was Atlanta.

I thought very highly of her then, and I was glad to see that I still can now.

***

I did some etymology on the word ‘integrity’, hoping that ‘grit’ meant something on its own. But not so much.

It’s just from “integer”, which is a wholeness, as in a whole number

as opposed to a fraction.

To have integrity is to live Untouched:

in- meaning “not”
+
tangere “to touch”

Why do we have separate words for Integrity and Intangible when they mean the same thing?

Answering that question is left as an exercise, for you, dear reader, on this specific holiday.

No Worries

When you tell me that you worry about me, I get a nice warm glow.

But also, it makes me want to say: don’t do that.

If you want to do something for me, please make this world a better place by de-emphasizing every worry in your life, no matter what it is. (So few of them really matter.)

I will do the same for you, for myself.

Then comes the revolution, from within your heart and mine.

Namaste.

The Great Stagnation

The inevitable march of progress has hit a snag“, says The Man, who then goes on to out himself from the closet as the literal queer billionaire Antichrist.

***

How To Fight Microplastics Infecting Our Bodies & Brains

I’m sorry Ms. Bright, I agree with you about most of it, but buying and consuming your kimchi pills is not “How To Fight”. In fact, buying and consuming anything at all is a large part of the vicious problem infesting our lives.

“How to Fight” is–all at once–far simpler, far more complicated, and all but impossible.

Thanks for your service. Moving on.

***

This is a list of the Wachowski films.

For the most part, outside of the Matrix, they are things I am familiar with but have never actually seen.

It would be nice to change that, I guess.

But, priorities.

***

Filmmaker II: Kelly Reichardt

I mentioned her the other day as having been the auteur behind Night Moves, and that remains the only film of hers I’ve actually seen. So far.

Emplacement

I’m not going anywhere.

Unless and until I have somewhere to go that is, by some deeply personal and subjective metric, “better”.

So, selling this raggedy little house is quite low on the priority list.

And thus, so is fixing it up, in order to sell it, or fixing it for any other reason.

I’m quite okay, with how things are.

If they never changed at all, I guess I could live with that and be just fine.

My ears are wide open to proposals for alternatives.

My soul is open to listening and choosing among them.

So far I am still way before any choosing.

So far, I am still before even hearing anything, besides the sound of the wind and the song of the birds.

Profess

In fact, I believe there’s a significant relationship between the lofty ideals about getting educated, and Civilization itself, including but not limited to civilized notions like plantation slavery, and our so much more refined wage slavery.

In my last gasping years of being a professor, the thing that hurt worst was that the academic bobbleheads were solely preaching to their student customers about how a degree was the ticket to a good job.

And that was all.

You have to play the game our way if you don’t want to end up a career french-fry salesman, see kid?

Or, as one white boy President put it, generations ago:

“Schoolhouses are a lot cheaper than revolutions.”

They knew. They know. They’ve always known.

You don’t need no stinking master’s degree to be happy.

I’m here to testify that it might just get in the way.

Our Brave New World

If you get the time and the money, or if you don’t, what will you do, to actually make this horrible world a better place?

Undercover Agent Against International Trafficking

The lives of children (and all of us outside the elite) are cheap to the point of worthless.

92% of victims are groomed by someone related to them.

The United States is far and away the biggest country on the demand side of this equation, just like with all the drugs.

What do you suppose is really wrong with us and our way of life, way down deep?

***

I think the answer manifests itself in all kinds of twisted ways.

Consider for a moment how weird things have to be in this moment for a notorious hack and liar like Joy Reid to begin spitting pure facts on CNN.

***

I’ve been waiting quite patiently for things to begin to move and transform.

Into the silence of that waiting comes a thought that maybe the road to transformation runs through Colombia.

Or just Fort Collins.

***

And, at the very end of a very long interview, we finally get to the part about the relationship between ‘education’ and slavery.

Why yes. I do buy that much.

With virtually no reservations.

Things We Know

Sometimes, the best and the brightest and most well-intentioned of us are fuckin’ idiots.

For today, here’s looking at you, Jimmy Dore, and Joe Rogan too.

In this video, JD is promoting a story that claims to reveal new evidence that climate change generally, and warming in particular, is no big deal and fake news.

A story, by the way, which was published in the Bezos-owned Washington Post–I wonder what he might have to gain, hmm?, from pushing this narrative.

Here’s what got left out.

As you can see in their chart, it used to be a whole lot hotter. In dinosaur times.

But that’s more or less irrelevant to the human condition, because …

… the entire genus Homo is less than 3 million years old.

So for the entire history of humanity, things have, on average, been cooling dramatically.

Until this civilization fiasco reared its ugly head, and the red line begins to spike upwards again with equal drama.

For our purposes as humans who would like a habitable planet for our kind, this is not the good news you paint it as.

We as proudly civilized sapients are, still, a disaster for ourselves and all the rest of the mammals.

Not just because things really are getting hotter from our emissions, but for a couple thousand other reasons besides, including the plastic that lives in your brain, and mine, and in the brains of our beloved puppies and kitties and polar bears.

Society beyond the tribal level sucks and is continuing to suck ever harder.

One way or another, I remain perfectly convinced that the most likely thing is that it will suck itself to death.

Maybe the nukes will start falling. Maybe the machines we built will take over. Maybe we cook ourselves to death. I don’t know and no one knows.

But this “new evidence” is no cause for optimism about any of those scenarios.

I don’t think your grandchildren will be flying around in space like they promised on the Star Treks, and it’s even less likely that the egalitarian moneyless meritocracy shows like this promise will ever be a thing.

Bladerunner.

Neuromancer.

Maybe at best, the world of Fallout.

Each of these is far more likely an outcome than the ever-advancing march of progress and blue Joy.

Night Moves

Night Moves (2013) (Jesse Eisenberg, Dakota Fanning)

I watched it while I was sorting out my gear from the RME for the third time, down at the Mellow Moon. It’s really good.

There is an objectionable subtext about the hopelessness, even the immorality, of hardcore activism.

But it’s rare enough that such a topic is dealt with honestly, even if I am not completely comfortable with the lessons the director draws from her tale.

So good job, Kelly.

Whether

If I had to pick one place, Argenta del Sur, the Silver, is still that place.

For many reasons.

But let’s talk about average January nighttime lows versus average July highs.

In Silver, the average January night low is 27 degrees.

The average daily high in July is 86.

It’s a little too cold in winter and a little too warm in summer, but those numbers are as close as you can get, in this tierra, to perfection in a single place, year round.

The only way to do better is to migrate seasonally.

In Del Norte, Colorado, it only tops out at 80 for an average for a hot summer day: gorgeous, plus there is even cooler high ground all around. But winter there is tough, with an average January night low of just 7. Countering that is expensive too, regardless of what you’re using for fuel.

On the flipside, Tucson is nice and warm in January, with an average low of 41. But in summer the average is 100 degrees, and when the average is exceeded, it’s effing miserable, even with (again expensive) AC.

So when you ask me to consider other places, I say: sure, I can do that.

But ‘other places’ would, best I can tell, have to mean multiple other places.

And that of course doubles or triples the cost, unless …

We were to markedly scale back expectations regarding what a proper and comfortable home should or could look like.

Which I am also more than willing to talk about.

So let’s.

***

Factoids.

The numbers here in SandRock are 22 and 94, a little more extreme and worse than SC on both ends. Even so, I can’t really say that I need the AC, except to take the worst edges off 10 days per summer. And winters are just going to involve some discomfort, unless you really want to maintain a place in Hawaii or Cabo, or stay inside and cook yourself for three months a year. I’ve froze my ass off in Vegas, even.

The reasons to abandon Holbrook in favor of Silver (and/or Del Norte) are much more cultural than climatological.

Also, as far as Texas is concerned, I am not convinced that the tradeoffs are worth it by these kind of metrics, even in the nicest and warmest parts of the Hill Country. Putting up with large populations of people aside, Tucson just makes more sense. And, y’know … there’s always Ajo. Don’t laugh. Forty-five degrees on an average January night is better than even Tucson or Quartzsite, and I really kind of like the people and the vibe.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ambitious

The sun is starting to sink slowly and the cool night is making wickedly hot promises.

The trash is at the curb but the job was done quickly and poorly. The dreams are a tiny bit more refined, but they have no more substance than they did yesterday.

All of the homecats inside and out are stuffed full of the finest wet food there is, while my own meal still lies ahead, in the darkness. Soon.

Mostly, I just slept deep, and more than once.

Which I will allow myself, with no shame, on a Tuesday in June with 60+ years under my belt.

My life is perfect as it is, already and right here now.

Lodge

A low price for a cute place in a gorgeous riverside setting.

But you have to join up and become a Mason, to buy it.

Not a dealbreaker I guess …

Setting the Wheel Table

I love you, and thank you, but I don’t really want a new or newish car.

I would much rather invest in these two new old ones, or something very like them.

I am about $9K into each of them, and neither of them has ever been wrecked, or developed any rust, or exhibited any other problem that is fundamentally structural.

To the extent I can perceive, they got good bones.

With a shiny new one, you just don’t know; can’t know.

You want me to be in something safe and reliable. I want the same thing.

I think making what I have mechanically pristine, and being financially and practically agile enough to rebuild an engine or transmission as necessary, is a much more sure and sensible path to that goal.

I honestly believe that.

It will probably be cheaper too, but that’s beside the point.

So is the retro-cool factor, ultimately, but damn, they are cool, in a way no Hybrid Wilderness Forester ever could be.

WTF ad Infinitum

‘They don’t know what the fuck they’re doing’

It’s not that I care any less now, about the politics or war or the war machine.

I’m just caring more, about other things.

I never did yet tell you about the incident with the check engine light, or how it turned out not to matter at all, except for the glitch of fear it caused in me.

I haven’t even edited the big pile of trip video.

I think that as I sink down into being home again I will probably be talking about what’s next.

It starts with a ball joint for the pickup and getting the RME looked at by a second expert closer to home.

Then, a hitch.

And how the road may someday loop back to Argenta del Norte.

The fun stuff.

Solstice

It happened officially and precisely just 22 minutes ago local.

We celebrated with a bottle of Willamette wine and hours of talk.

There is nothing more to report at this time.

It’s all good.

MoreUhThat

Possibly last post for a few days; I’m going, for real this time, after this’un:

The Moar:

How To Replace Subaru Leaking Headgaskets SOHC EJ25 (No worries my doves. It’s not leaking, yet, even a little, and it’s only $2500 for a pro to do it right if it starts.)

How to Check for a Bad Head Gasket on Toyota and Lexus Engines (Exactly the same as on Subarus, but with other kinds of wisdom toward the end)

How to change a Subaru Head Gasket without removing the engine

Subaru Cheat Codes Ep 2: How To Dress And Install A New Longblock (bare ej25)

How to Remove a Subaru Engine Checklist and Demonstration Explanation

The Easiest Car Brand To Own, Maintain, & Repair?! | Subaru, Of Course! Here’s Why!

***

Outback Wilderness No Build Camper

Building A Minimalist Camper in My Subaru Outback

Subaru Impreza Camper Build

5 Essential Items For Your 2023 Outback Car Camper

NO BUILD SUV TOUR | 2015 Subaru Outback | Living in my SUV

The $60 DIY Awning I built for my Subaru Forester

***

Campgrounds vs Dispersed camping in Colorado: The best overland campsites

***

RME, Mr. Auto

RME, Autotrader

RME, cars101

2002, cars101

2002, cars dot com

SprayPaint

“The Apex of Subaru Engineering”, Kenyan edition

Or you know, just confirmation bias.

By the way, the top half of the ’02 Outback is a color quite officially called Savanna Green, which is also a girl name.

I am thinking of the lower half as a Rocky Gray.

The boy part.

Perhaps “offbeat older brother’ is being generous, or even: Too Nice.

Anyway, the only thing stopping me from buying it for sure right now is that $1200 rack and pinion job.

And the only reason I’m hesitating is: the dealer claims it was done.

While the mechanic says: ripped rubber, leaking fluid …

… both things cannot be true.

I will attempt to negotiate a further discount on the basis of that white or black lie, and wait, to have that repair made right at my own expense after I get back.

With Rocky. Or Savanna.

In the driveway.

With the mattress.

Slip and Grip

When this is over I will tell you a long story about why I think this (RME) is better
(than a nice new Crosstrek)

Well. It’s not over yet.

It’s only … 93 percent done or thereabouts.

Here anyway is a start on the story, if not Most of what I know about it so far.

One, I can’t stretch out full length to sleep in an unmodified Crosstrek, so we’d be talking about a new base Forester or Outback.

Two, and this is the main thing, Mr. Subaru says (and others say it too) that 2000-2004 was the pinnacle and apex of Subaru engineering. Before that, they were a scrappy little auto company who were still perfecting their tech. And, after that, they started slowly sliding toward being just another corporation and profit machine.

This was epitomized by their 2010 decision to move to CVT(ransmissions) and to begin phasing out stick shifts.

The slide deepened in 2011 and 2012 when I was buying the Pearl. Their engines started to secretly burn oil, and more oil faster as they aged. And Subaru knew, and said nothing.

Worse still, the car itself didn’t say anything either. Even the simple low oil light didn’t come on until the engine was already cooked dry and destroyed from the inside out.

That happened to me at about 130K–the first time.

Like a maroon, I slapped another engine, flawed in the very same way, into it, with six grand of mostly family charity money.

It failed for the second time last month.

Subaru is coasting on its outdoorsy, dogloving, queer-friendly image on the one hand, and its legitimately superior Symmetrical All-Wheel Drive (arguably the only AWD worthy of the name) on the other.

The new ones, even the lovely hybrids and the proud bearers of Wilderness trim badges …

I honestly believe they will turn out to suck, and mainly due to end-stage capitalism.

Just like a Boeing.

So I’m honestly supporting wife’s intention to go with a Kia when the time comes for her to buy her forever car.

Pending further review of the evolution, and in the case that the new and superior Chinese automakers continue to be cock-blocked in the US.

And as for me, I’m headed back to the golden age. The ’02 RME is not flawless by any stretch.

But a manual transmission is far cheaper to fix than a CVT.

An old EJ 251 engine predates the oil burner issues, and their documented head gasket issues at least give ample warning long before the point of catastrophic failure.

If I go through with the purchase, I’ll be spending $6300 to acquire, $2200 on a timing belt and spark plugs and wires and a number of other do-it-now issues, probably twelve hundred more sooner rather than later on the rack and pinion, and, someday, whatever a head gasket costs (too much, but the independent inspector/mechanic says it looks quite solid for now).

And, in three years, a 2002 will be eligible for its own historic copper plate.

Thus enhancing its already substantial retro cred.

***

Further notes

sUbArUs aReN’t ReLiAbLe OvEr 100K MiLeS

Avoid This Engine Like the Plague

2002 Subaru Outback – That Weird Time GM Owned Part Of Subaru!

Buying A Used Subaru Outback Or Legacy?! Here’s The Good And Bad Over The Last 20 Years!

Should You Buy a Used Subaru Outback?

How To Check for Head Gasket Leaks

Donnie’s Subaru Outback Is A Camp Ready Adventure Wagon!

ManChild

I was Liony then.

To the people who loved me, fed me, wiped my ass, that was my name.

To the people who tolerated me or disliked me, I was Liony.

I am Liony still. He is here with me, as I write these words.

***

These days, I wipe my own ass, just like a growed-up man oughta.

I feed myself, and I’m getting pretty good at it.

When I walk into the grocery store and type my fake phone number into their database for fifty cents off on a pack of sausage, my fake name comes up as Rocky.

Rocky Anderson.

When the checker looks down at the receipt, and reads my name they say:

Thank you, Mister Anderson

Recently one clerk, far brighter than the average, said to me

Every time I say that I think of the Matrix.

And I saith unto her, well that tells me flat out that you, Ma’am, are no NPC, in spite of your dead end job in this nowhere little town. You’re a fair bit brighter than the average bulb. Good on you, and please never let the bastards grind you down.

Because that’s exactly why I chose the name Anderson.

I did not say to her why I chose the name Rocky.

***

Rocky is also the name now of the latest stray, who went to the vet today, probably for the first time in his life.

I paid half. Almost half.

In a few days’ time it will be the name of my latest car.

“Rocky” is not nearly as good a nickname for me as Liony was.

But anyway, it’s not a nickname at all in any usual sense. No one calls me that, or has, not even once or ever in my life.

But Rocky the cat is here with me, and soon Rocky the car will be too.

I’m not doing a very good job of explaining.

***

Rocky had a face all pushed out of shape like tenderized meat. In that movie. He was not bright.

I too have been all pushed out of shape, by life, and maybe I’m as ugly as that Rocky —

don’t really know don’t really care any more

Sometimes I’m damn fuckin’ dumb, profoundly concussed maybe.

***

Liony is here with me now.

Even if I look and speak and act more like a Rocky, at my advanced age. Even if in some metaphorical sense Rocky, Rocky Rockford and all the Rockies, are here with me now.

Yo

Adrian

Gabor. Yes. Again. Listen.

Here’s Why Despair Is So Commonplace Today

The despair you feel, sometimes or all the time, is not about yourself or your trauma or what is broken in you.

It is the quasi-intentional by-product of the toxic culture you have been steeped in since birth, and the literally toxic environment you grew in (There is a teaspoon of plastic inside your brain, right now, as you read these words.)

***

Problems.

Like “smoking”. Like loneliness, and the destruction of community and connection.

Like this one (and a million more on top):

Problems to Look Out for When Buying a Used Subaru (Forester) – All Generations

Going back “15 thousand years”.

More or less.

It Was Trash Day

The first real trash day in three weeks, and a remarkably productive one.

I’m sorry to have been incommunicado through it. I am working very hard. In many different ways.

The plan, still, remains intact–on Thursday night or Friday morning we will leave here together and drive back up to the metro of urban richness and suburban doom, via ABQ and little Trinidad at the Raton Pass, as fast as safety allows.

And that on Friday, and Saturday, all energies will be concentrated upon the RME that currently lives at Mr. Auto; on getting it from there to Rocky Mountain Auto for inspection, and, pending a successful inspection … how to pay for it with as little damage to my financial well-being and credit score as possible.

That by Saturday night I will know what the right thing to do is, one way or the other, in the context of this … conscious week … on this rock in space that all we monkeys are flying upon, in what passes for community, in these dark and sober days.

Spaceship of the Planet of the Apes, yeah? Yeah. Let us pray.

Pearls I/II: The Autopsy

This ENTIRE Subaru Engine IS SCRAP! So Much Damage In A FORESTER? EJ253 RIP

Caution: this autopsy is not for the faint of heart or those given to queasiness.

Subaru: Boxer Engines. Lineatronic CVTs.

From my fanboi perspective, these technologies are not, strictly speaking, “unreliable”.

What they are is manufactured by a smaller auto company with relatively razor-thin margins.

There’s a lack of … tolerance, here. There is very little margin for error.

This circumstance is directly reflected in the internal physical operations of the major drivetrain components themselves.

The slim margins are cast into the very metal.

Most of the time it all works out fine.

But the older things get, and the less perfect the adherence to the maintenance schedule, and without going over and above it by doing things like checking the oil every 1000 miles instead of just letting them check it whenever the filter gets changed …

The narrower the tolerances become. And …

When as a result, things do go wrong, the failures ramp up and start to cascade quickly.

Within minutes. Sometimes within seconds.

That’s the real real truth of it as best as I can make it out, and say it.

***

Subarus are, in a very specific sense of the word, Fragile Inside.

And, in a different specific sense, very tough on the outside.

No one and I mean no one else has the true miracle that is Symmetrical AWD.

Like I said 15 years ago when I chose a Subaru to be the first (and possibly the last) New Car of my life, what I care about most is my car’s ability to stick to the pavement no matter what, no matter whether that pavement is covered in blowing and drifting snow, hydroplane rain, or glare ice.

By that metric, it was, and is, the little japanese emperor, the pint-sized king.

10/10, would and will buy again.

Now to figure out …

Just how to make it happen, in the dollars and cents sense.

***

Contrary Opinion: Subaru Sucks (and it might be Toyota’s fault)

So yeah. Buy a very old one, with a manual transmission and as few miles as possible.

Like the Rocky Mountain Edition, right? Dammit.

(“I was under the impression that Subaru had sorted out the problems with their CVTs by the ’14 or ’16 or ’19 model” yeah me too but apparently not.

Ultimately the problem here isn’t CVTs or Subaru or Toyota or anything obvious like that.
Ultimately the problem is this world, and civilization, and the profit motive, and the necessity of hiring expensive lawyers to have any hope of anything resembling fairness, much less justice. Shit like that.

Mayhap the generation of my nephews or niece will be allowed to import or drive some nice sweet capable Chinese EV that can tow a camper without breaking the bank.)

Pearl III

Two blown engines and I am more of a Subaru fanboi than ever. (Weird. Weird.)

So is this guy, and he knows two or three times what I do, or likely ever will.

From watching him and others, I’m getting more knowledgeable over time anyway.

What I end up buying, whether it’s an old one to get the manual transmission, or a new one to get the sweet new hybrid engine (and/or Wilderness badging and perqs), that’ll be a product of my learning and evolving as time goes by.

That old 2002 RME probably hasn’t sold yet, and if there was a way to lay hands on it for $7500 and do the timing belt and water pump for another $3K all at once, it might be close to the perfect solution, but …

There isn’t a way.

Maybe the van will sell tomorrow and there suddenly will be.

About such things, none of us knows anything.

***

Invaluable Resources Dump

cars101
old-car warranties
what is x-mode
Special finance, Subaru Certified Pre-Owned used vehicles 2025-2020 model years
leasing
lease to buy

What Rough Beast

Anthony Fauci continues to prove himself as the absolute front-running candidate yet for the actual Antichrist. That is one evil bastard.

Shame on you and me both for not realizing it sooner, especially if we saw (I did) Dallas Buyer’s Club when it came out in 2013.

He was demonic way back in the eighties, when the film is set, decades before the repeated lies about Covid.

May we all pay better kinds of attention, going forward.

Exactly what I never did do

Up at Wolf Creek Pass, way up on the Great Divide, there was another story (look there goes another one, just like the other one), with a woman stranger.

But that one will have to wait.

I’m back now. It’s over, except for the part about getting my truck out of hock from the airport. It’s over except for a couple of van tires that don’t exist yet; maybe another five hour wait so that someone else can collect another five hundred dollars. Small stuff. Chicken feed.

The cats were all still alive.

The, uh, abyss is $758 deeper, four hundred on the one card and three on t’other, gasoline and epic bars, but it could have been worse. It’s not $7500.

All said and done I got forty dollars and two packs to get me through til payday.

And that’s with the water bill paid, too.

It’ll do.

Still sometimes you know

I wish I was a bluebird

The Side of a Feed Store

Today we made 400 miles or so and did a lot of good.

Tonight we are bedded down in Durango.

So many interesting and wondrous things happened. I can’t tell you about most of them, because they were not exclusively my story, and I’m still trying to work out where my story ends and the stories of those I love begin, and the morality of that shit.

I can tell you this one. It was for sure exclusively mine.

I was in Pagosa. Inside the Natural Grocers. Alone.

I had just taken a picture of the things that were in my shopping basket. I was on the last aisle, just before heading up to the checkout.

Down the aisle came a woman.

This woman thought that her husband was walking right behind her, and she growled something low that she thought were for his ears alone.

He didn’t hear her.

But I did.

She said:

I am in control of this radio.

You will submit to me!

What could it mean? I didn’t know and still don’t. Some private joke I guess.

For once in my goddamn life, I was quick enough to say the perfect thing on the spur of the moment.

I looked up and I said to her, Well now, Ma’am.

That is quite an offer.

And then her husband caught up from behind her, and he said:

What’s so funny honey?

I smiled and stepped away before she could compose a coherent answer. Stepped away quick, but not too quick. Just ambling. Grinning.

I wish I could be that appropriately inappropriate every moment of my life until I die.

That will never happen.

But a boy can dream.

And right now I think I will.

For real and literal.

I’m Supposed To Be Packin’

And I am.

But I had to share this because of a Perfect quotation at about the 12 minutes mark. From the movie Syriana, starring George Clooney, 2005. Paraphrasing:

“Corruption, and wars everywhere all the time, are what keep us safe and warm.”

It’s bad enough that this is so exactly true.

It’s made ten times worse IF you let them turn you into a zombie that wants to bomb Putin or “Hamas” or the Houthis or Iran or China with shiny new Raytheon ordinance paid for with your own tax dollars.

Fuck the corruption. Fuck their Liberty Machine, even if it does give you a sense of false security.

Bring the boys home. Keep them home. House them and give them real, free health care, and their mommas and babies and babymamas too.

Or, you know, wave that flag and indulge your bloodlust, whatever. I am not the boss of you.

Not Any Title

The plans are in constant evolution just like always of course.
–Folk Song

That said, right now, the tiny house will be 10 x 10, 100 square feet.

Really that’s uselessly small for my purposes, except for a couple things.

1) At that modest size I could drag it up the driveway and out my gate with ease. Perhaps to sell it (you’ll recall that this property my house sits on is commercially zoned, and Anaprim’s remit could be expanded to the selling of … sheds, or emergency housing for people with none).

2) The main point really is doing it for practice.

In case down the road I wanted to scale up to a 20 x 20 four hundred square footer.

On a lot in, say, Silver City.

This month and next, it’s a pure wild hair of a pipe dream, and most of the pipe dreams I have never go anywhere at all.

But I think this one has some promise.

Let’s square away the rest of these god damn cars first and see how that promise looks in August.

When we all go to the Chile Festival in Hatch.

Praise the Pre-Civ Innana

Until five minutes ago I didn’t know this was even possible.

Thus begins, officially, the month of small twisted miracles.

If you zoom in real close you can see the old radio antenna, just barely bending.

Let me tell you, that made one hell of an unholy racket hitting the roofline.

***

Edit: And look. To the right.

There’s a hundred feet of clear paved driveway there.

For now.

I think I might build a tiny house on it.

Watch me.

Thursday Unsnarl

(the other)
I helped her out of a jam, I guess
But I used a little too much force.
We drove that car as far as we could; abandoned it out West …
The only thing I knew how to do was to keep on keepin’ on

like a bird

that flew

***

(the others)
Some are mathematicians
Some are carpenters’ wives
Don’t know how
it all got started

I don’t know what they do

with their lives

***

(one left)
But me, I’m still on the road
Headin’ for another joint
We always did feel the same
We just saw it

from a different point

of view

Somnia

Sometimes I really wish I could shut my brain off and go to sleep.

This is in Fort Collins.

Theoretically, though not sanely, I could … afford it. At least my card limits could.

If it’s still there on Tuesday I guess I have to go look at it.

Homebound Road Warrior

First thing is that luscious pickup truck.

There’s a lot of things I love about it, and top of the list is real 4WD, plus eight long feet of bed.

The downside, the main way that it is limiting me right now, is … 10 mpg. Related, through money, is the fact that if something goes wrong with the 300K+ engine or some other major component, I don’t have any easy way to fund a fast fix.

Right now she’s in maintenance mode for those reasons, a daily driver that I don’t dare to push too hard or too far. As I have time and scraps of cash, I will have the suspension looked at and upgraded. And I will rehab and install the shell I found that covers that eight-foot bed so precisely, so potentially beautifully.

Same goes for the exactly matching trailer (also a 1999, also white). One day, they will make the perfect mobile and modular home for shorter trips, oh Lord, up into the holy Gila, or over in the the vicinity of Blue, Arizona. Down to the fictional south Laramie, which is Deming.

But there needs to be one to drive less expensively, as far as the real Laramie up north too.

That’s where the Pearl replacement I am owed some day factors in.

(And to your point, Grace, once that replacement happens, trading this house in, for one on the land in Silver, starts to become more realistic.)

***

The plans are in constant evolution just like always of course.

But I am 99% sure that it will be another Subaru.

I was sure that it would be a Crosstrek too, and I’d still prefer that, but there may be a tiny problem with that idea.

Which is that it may be on the edge of impossible to sleep comfortably in it … maybe.

I need to measure one for real. The picture shows how the last best hope would work.

To be clear, I don’t even want to sleep right in the car. But I do very much want that to be an option, for emergencies or for extreme minimalist adventures.

Thus: Rather than the Crosstrek, I am at least considering a Forester or an Outback, both of which would add something like 20 cubic feet of cargo capacity, including those crucial few inches of cargo length.

***

A late update that makes a lot of the link-dumping I was going to do here irrelevant.

2026 Subaru Outback, with Hybrid Power and SUV Looks, Is Worth Waiting For

35 mpg for as little as $30,430 base price, per the article.

Which would be damn close to the perfect vehicle for me.

And if that wasn’t enough …

In the last few days, Subaru made another announcement, to the effect that this slick new Outback Hybrid thing will become available, later into 2026, with something called the Wilderness trim.

Which for my purposes means: A hybrid vehicle that is also capable of towing 3500 pounds.

As opposed to the standard 1500.

Do I care? I’m not sure I dare to care yet, because that kind of beyond-perfect also pushes the price past 40K.

And … I’m currently focused on minimalist trailers that weigh closer to a thousand pounds, easily yankable with the very modestly priced brand new Outback Hybrid version …

Making the ten/twelve/fifteen thousand more dollars seem at least extravagant, and maybe even, hate to say it, superfluous.

***

I really need to quit this shit now.

And do some work that matters to contexts much sooner than next March.

As in, like three or four days from now.

Out.

It’s Like This

Okay look.

Yes I’ve been prolific, and I would say the quality of the produce has been high, and I’m genuinely proud of all that.

But I’m giving myself permission to take a week or ten days off if necessary, and it might be.

The next five days are going to have to be hardcore trip prep, including paying all the June bills at one grinding go.

Then there’s at least 2.5 days pounding the road itself hard.

And on the other side of that there’s even more doing that will explode into being of necessity due to certain nuances of my softheadedness.

I should be in recoup by Sunday the 8th or something like that.

Expect one more massive messy dump of a post as I get these hundreds of browser tabs closed properly.

At then a long moment of stillness.

For the Pearl.

Among other things semiprecious.

Shamana Carvana

That one cliche’, about ‘surrounded by alligators while trying to drain the swamp’.

First of all, you shouldn’t be frivolously destroying wetlands that way. La Cienega is not only a blessing. It’s the habitat and the ecosystem those gators depend on.

What you blithely think of as swampdraining is, from their perspective, both ecocide and genocide.

No wonder they’re pissed.

But that’s not really why the cliche was on my mind.

There are ghost gators around me in this moment, sure, but less fear than one might think.

In such moments, I remind myself that this is the place I drain into–spill into, and how and why that is important.

It’s both a kind of secular salvation

and The Objective.

Darkness at the Edge

New RV puts family in the ER

When I sent the other link out to the fam yesterday, I talked about the connections between things like simplicity, anti-sedentism, and

“well let’s just say et cetera”

This is part of what I meant by that phrase.

Our ultramodern way of living makes us sick, in so many large and small ways that it can be hard to see, and overwhelming at the same time.

Specifically, no matter who “they” are, or what they’re selling, they’re motivated by profit and greed, and never by what’s best for you, not even a little bit, and no matter what they say.

That is a major contributor to the rot at the core of everything this society and culture and modus vivendi are about.

It makes no difference if you’re buying team red or team blue, GM or Subaru, Boeing or Airbus, Google or Apple. It doesn’t matter if you shop at Piggly Wiggly or Whole Foods.

It’s a game and it’s rigged.

It’s a big club and you and I ain’t in it, just like George Carlin preached to us.

You can shut your eyes tight and la la la.

You can open them to the utter Despair of the real situation, and feel it deeply, and hurt, just like this counselor woman is doing toward the end of the video.

Those are the real choices, and no amount of diligence and seeking out a “reputable dealer”, or even putting your faith in a label that says Organic or Grass-Fed can fundamentally change it.

That bitterly and brutally hard work of change is your mission and mine alone.

Should we choose to accept it.

***

Another example regarding the bad news.

Dealership Tactics During RV Inspection! Why My Client Walked Away

And then, from virtually the same source, a slim ray of hope.

What I found During This RV Inspection was Odd!

And some acumen besides.

So I went ahead and made the world a tiny bit better of a place.

With “coffee”.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Compulsive Numbermash

2024 Subaru Crosstrek (2.5 engine) | Real-world Highway Fuel Economy and Range

For real reals, the test on a new one is 34 mpg highway.

Which equals 500+ miles on the 16.6 gallon tank.

Which equals $60ish in gas on a round trip from here to Vegas.

$100 at least from here to the Front Range and back.

$200 for the full Silver-Riverton-Silver.

Though that would of course all be without towing anything.

Which means: either building a barebones bed in the cargo area …

or doubling those trip costs, roughly, for the most rudimentary of trailer-based sleeping solutions, meaning 1000 pounds max, and at least $5000 more spent up front.

Hot News Flash

Forty thousand, eh?

Yeah we’ll see.

And while we’re on the subject:

“Subaru has also unveiled the 2026 Forester Wilderness, a version that prepares the small SUV for even muddier adventures with raised ground clearance (9.3 inches), upgraded suspension, all-terrain tires, and myriad cosmetic enhancements inside and out.

That new version, along with the new Crosstrek Hybrid, will go on sale in fall 2025.”

We The Sheeple

Before All Of This. Ever Went Down.

And then the world changed. The average person says it was for the better.

The Birth of Civilisation I (20000 BC to 8800 BC)

The Birth of Civilisation II: Cult of the Skull (8800 BC to 6500 BC)

The Birth of Civilisation III: Owning Things. Property. Evil City #1 (6500 BC to 3200 BC)

Here are the defining characteristics of that change.

The best of the changes was the last one, Writing, a mere 5000 years ago. But even so, it developed as a tool for expressing the deeply harmful concept of Owning Things–Property itself.

We created symbols, impressed into wet clay, to say: So-and-so owns this grain, and here’s a list of who owns which grain, and which land, and which … people.

Inequality was Invented, and continues to be re-invented today, and will be tomorrow too.

The earliest writing, in its very reason for being, was thus inextricable with the worst of the changes, social hierarchy. From the beginning, it wasn’t art, like a lion man sculpture or a cave painting. It wasn’t Poetry. It was … Accounting.

As for Agriculture–Cultivation is Labor, and labor can be exploited for the same ends as writing.

Hunting isn’t labor. Gathering isn’t labor. There were no laborers, before farming. No one forces other people to hunt.

Slaves built the Pyramids just as they would one day build the White House. There’s your monumental architecture, too.

Only … as Robin Greenfield has pointed out recently, there’s no such thing as a slave.

There are only human beings that have actively been enslaved.

No “illegals”. Just people made via Civilized law illegal by the fact that they crossed nomadically over some line in the sand that is just as made-up and fake as the law itself.

By “civilization”.

No workers of the world, but only people who have been forced to work, or starve, because they don’t have the option of hunting buffalo any more.

Working, primarily within urban environments, Egypt or Detroit, for Fixed Rations, or “wages”.

Civilization, via ownership, having made hunting and gathering illegal too, then killed all the wild, un-owned, undomesticated buffalo.

Just to be damn sure.

***

They want you to stay focused on what all this has done For You.

And to never think about what it has done

To You.

***

They want you to celebrate the illusion of your liberty.

They want you to forget that everything you get (“for Free”) is paid for with the liberty

of someone else.

Perhaps a nine-year-old girl in Rafah.

Or the homeless veteran at the traffic light, yeah thanks, for your service, old son.

Or the battered drone who sat behind you in class, who was never as smart as you, or worked so very hard as you, and was left behind, very tragic and all

while you rose through the … Meritocracy

and reaped the benefits

of living in this so very Free and Civilized way.

They want you to believe that you are blessed.

That it is your duty to vote, for either the shill, or the puppet.

That God smiled upon you and danced a divine jig when you weren’t born in a … Shithole.

That your freely given Charity and your flag decal will get you into some kind of heaven someday, even if you’re too smart to believe the one about God.

***

I have a lot more to say about it all; “in Writing”.

I wanna do right.

But not right now.

***

Part Two. Speaking Practically.

I’m not mad at you for killing off the Red Pearl mainly because she’s already been dead to me, for me and my purposes, for a long time already.

Here is how it gets made right.

***

The very minimum: 4WD, or at least AWD, and sufficient driver legroom of 41+ inches

Longevity/Reliability: I want it to outlive me, and do it cheaply, including …
Fuel / Mileage: at least 25 mpg, and
A round trip of (say) Silver-Riverton is $250 for 2000 miles–50 such trips = 100K miles

Then …

Cargo Capacity: of one Twin XL mattress, 38.5 × 79.5, plus minimal luggage
and/or
Towing Capacity: 2500ish pounds. 2 Twin XL Mattresses. 2 E-bikes? A barebones kitchen.
I have some cheap ideas, about what to build and tow (**see note below).

So …
Sure, maybe it’s a Crosstrek/Wilderness. Maybe an Outback.
Maybe a Kia. Maybe something else.
Whatever best meets the criteria
and does it sooner rather than later.
I won’t live forever.

***

I’ll be holding onto my Lariat as a daily and local driver to get me to where I want to walk, and patching it up as needed.

Everything else, including the van and the current cargo trailer, is expendable.

(The van by itself is a poor attempt to do it all-in-one, pretty expensively and not super reliably. Therefore, spending money on it beyond the absolute bare minimum is just wasteful, and temporary. I’ll pay for two more tires, but after that, meh.)

***

**Note below:

I absolutely love this guy’s paranoia because
1) It’s very much like my own, but …
2) It’s carried to an extreme that makes it seem absurd, and so I feel better about myself.

My own variation on this approach … maybe it will have cameras.

But I am not going to care about Stealth in the parking lot of a dead hardware store, because … I don’t want to sleep, OR be awake, in the parking lot of any store, alive or dead.

I would much rather drive out to a place where I’m just not seen at all.

And I don’t care about the hockey game.

And bro, I don’t want to keep my food in plastic bags, either; it’s just ugly.

Two For The Seesaw

The Truth About People, as things stood the year I got here.

After the first five minutes, I said, This is really good.

After the first fifteen, I said it again.

After that, it had its ups and downs, but yeah. I was right.

This is really good.

“No, you’re not a flop.
You’re a gift, infant.
Underneath that beautiful face there’s a street brawler.
But underneath that there’s someone that no one, nothing has ever dirtied.
The way people were meant to be.
That’s what you are.”

The truth, and he spoke it very cool.

Road Forks

Yes there are two ways you can go by
but in the long run
There’s still time to change the road you’re on

Positive Supportive Atmosphere

They’re killing babies in the name of Freedom
We’ve been down that sorry road before
They let us hang around a little longer than they should have
And it’s too late to fool us anymore

We’ve seen the ones who killed the ones with vision
Cold-blooded murder right before your eyes
Today they hold the power and the money and the guns
It’s getting hard to listen to their lies.

And I’ve just got to wonder what my Daddy would’ve done
If he’d seen the way they turned his dream around
I’ve got to go by what he told me
try to tell the truth

And stand your ground

Don’t let the Bastards (get you down)
Kris Kristofferson (June 22, 1936 – September 28, 2024)

And All My Hope Is

The false choice according to the least awake looks like this:

Left/Right! Red/Blue! Trump/Harris!

Just dumb, just no.

The false choice for the slightly more thoughtful; the types that might have once supported ol’ Bernie for example, comes down to embracing the system and attempting to prosper within it.

“Socialist” tweaks to vulture capitalism, or

Stakeholder” capitalism vs. the traditional pure shareholder kind.

Like that.

Still all false.

***

The real choice.

Keep your eyes tightly shut and live within the illusion of the matrix, as above.

Or.

Open them, and face living with the facts on the ground, and total Despair.

The long version

Just Your Average Joe

Alone on this earth, I’m no more academic, within cells interlinked.

There are other kinds of dysphoria beyond the popular kind about gender, to be borne.

All that is left are the sick, the poor, and the forgotten.

I think I’m going to stop placing any attention on the ancient trailer and its trim and screens, and envision a world in which I have a new one to play with someday. I want to instead fix the shell, build a practice tiny house in my backyard, and then concern myself with Transmission.

The 1982 Bladerunner was all LA, or San Angeles, but in the 2017 sequel the wave hits that pacific seawall and bounces back into the Vegas desert just as if it was written by HST and not PKD.

The Strip is a toxic orange.

Every frame is lonely.

The Joi of the movie is exactly the same joi that those blue droids were trying to sell you last year.

To be special is to be something more, something greater, something unique and unprecedented. Something that cannot be … Replicated.

Our hero’s world has been flipped, not upside down, but right side up.

Sure, you’re real for me.

Proximity to something honest.

(Time isn’t real, but it consumes us and forgets us nevertheless.)

Proximity.

To Purpose.

AlphaGal

Amblyomma americanum, the lone star tick, can bite you and make you permanently allergic to things, including all meat and certain kinds of seaweed like the one they use in the modern production of industrial ice cream.

A real thing that happens to real people, even though one poll showed that less than half of all medical professionals have even heard of it.

Is the spread of this tick caused by bio-engineering and a sinister billionaire plot?

Might could be, but to get mad about it specifically is to lose the big picture.

‘Cause the whole thing, including most of what I have believed and most of what you still do is acquiescent and compliant with the real, less flashy, far more widespread and insidious plot.

The one that has made this world so much more like the one that Phillip K. Dick was imagining as the future when we were still children.

appropriate (v.)

We left off with the idea that the consumption of cheese is ancestrally inappropriate.

Since then I have been living more appropriately than ever, and finding out about my true and unmedicated self.

That self turns out to be hormonally lacking; and thus emotionally unstable, indecisive, unproductive, full of lassitude, and relatively weak-willed.

I wonder what the appropriate respond is to learning that.

The knee-jerk is to finally find a way to again medicate it.

Sure, yes, maybe.

Not just yet.

Homeplace

The Chicago Bears have a mascot, and it’s a bear.

The bear has a name.

The name is Staley.

“The club was established (in 1919) by the A. E. Staley food starch company of Decatur, Illinois, as a company team.”

The first Staley, not the mascot, paid George Halas five thousand dollars to take the team off his hands.

Halas moved the team into Chicago and called them the Bears because the city already had a sports team called … the Cubs.

In a couple weeks we’ll be going back there.

Cheese

“It’s not an ancestrally appropriate food.”

Unfortunately, that makes perfect sense to me. But for now, I’m going to gloss over that part and tell you what’s better and worse anyway.

Organic is always a good sign. Just as important and maybe more is: grass-fed, and preferably “100%” grass-fed.

Stay away from anything “skim”. You want the fat for fuel, especially in keto terms.

Aged is good too. More time for the lactose to get eaten up and processed before it goes into you. Pasteurization, not so much.

The source animal matters a lot. Generally, goat and sheep (feta, manchego) are just better. Also, one theory says “buffalo mozzarella” is from buffalo milk, and that’s a good thing in America because all buffalo are mandated to be 100% percent grass fed. (I’m not totally sure on this–study your labels.)

If you have to go cow, try to make it from A2 cows rather than the far more common A1 (it’s a gene thing).

Beyond this, the most convincing guy I heard said blue, gouda and Swiss in that order. Also there are some specialty Euro-varieties I haven’t had any luck finding anywhere, called parmesan-reggiano and romano pecorino.

“Healthy”, Okay?

Make America Healthy Again is a good idea, regardless of what you think of Trump and all.

Unfortunately there seems to be a whole lot of infighting over what the idea even means. I won’t go into all the BS, including the fact that the Donald and Robert Kennedy are both claiming that the new Surgeon General candidate is the other guy’s idea, but …

The best attempt at analysis is here.

By Any Means Necessary? The 275th Evolutionary Lens with (Weinstein/Heying)

Money and power ruin everything they touch.

I’m in full flight from them both and studying myself carefully to see if that’s the right thing to do.

Cabincrafting

Building My Hidden Stone Sanctuary: An Off-Grid Cliffside Cabin Journey

I don’t know how realistic or practical this is, particularly given the handy and lovely creek full of pure water and edible fish, but I do know that I watched it in one sitting and was not bored, but rather quite Inspired.

It’s apparently a whole genre. See also:

A Man Built a House by the River. Building in the Forest and Fishing

Man Builds House with STONES and LOGS in the Forest

I Built a Hidden House in the Forest in 5 Days

Two Men Build HUGE CABIN Underground | Start to Finish

In this last one: A Cabin Anyone Could Build | Start To Furnished | Alaska Off-Grid

… they’re using something called pier blocks for the foundation.

(… speaking of inspiring, you might want to watch the last two minutes first …)

Apropos of nothing I’m sure, the space just in front of my 8×10 shed measures about 16×20, and together they would make up a house that just barely qualifies as Tiny, at about 400 square feet. How tall would it be? Connected in any way to the existing back door on the main house?

All very speculative. So far.

Scenes from Inside the Gold Mine

The Ghost Town of THURMOND, WV – A Good Town Gone Bad

IMHO the creator is overstating both the former goodness and the current alleged badness.

This is little more than just the wreckage of what capitalism does, and leaves behind.

***

Essentially, no food has been allowed in Gaza for the past 60 days.

Activists were attempting to do something small about that when Israel bombed their ship.

***

Please don’t fly any more.

And if you insist, at least avoid the hell out of Newark.

Thanks.

***

Dying NEW MEXICO Mountain Towns In A Rarely Seen Corner Of The State

Hurley, yes. Bayard, okay. But Silver City isn’t dying, and that’s not the only way this guy is … let’s be nice and say mistaken.

The fact that its population did actually dip by a couple hundred from census to census is a feature, bro, not a bug.

Task Saturation

Big O isn’t just for tires, but for a moderately broad range of general mechanical stuff.

They have a place in Prettytown, another 2 hours further west at Kingman, and a third less than a hundred miles after that near Gibson and 215 in Henderson.

In a worst case scenario, that gives me a place to get towed to, for free, from almost anywhere on the trip from here to Sin City.

Also, I do need a tire or two or four anyway.

So if I can get them to give me a card, I can get the tire(s), and have basic coverage against trouble, and be able to budget all that at six months same-as-cash.

Given all that, I’ll apply. We’ll see.

If it works, then a trip is just a matter of having two hundred for a round trip’s worth of gas, and I’d be bringing the sleeping shelter with me besides–no motel or camping in someone else’s house necessary.

The same could apply, more or less, to shorter trips (the ice caves/ABQ) and potentially longer ones (Colorado).

That’s the van.

***

The pickup just needs suspension looked at next, nice and eventual-like.

The bike needs a new rear valve stem and I’m working on a trip to Pinetop for that, and a bunch of other things while I’m there.

In the meantime I’ve set all the vehicles up with a basic kit of tools, first aid, and the like, and that means the front room is emptied out and looking very neat and clean.

It’s all feeling both savvy and precarious.

I’m trying to pull it all off without stress of any kind.

It’s harder than it looks, but I doubt it’s impossible.

Beelzebeef

Exact same story, yes, again, just with regard to the meat supply.

The *REAL REASON * No One Wants US Beef

1.5 million views in a week. Maybe people are finally starting to get it?

Anyway. On average, an American farm is 10 times larger than one in Europe.

Just that one stat itself tells you a lot of what you need to know about “Big Ag” and the industrialization of agriculture more generally …

Over here.

In the land of the “small family farm”, don’t you know.

Satan’s Pocket Computer

How Open Source Is Slowly Being Locked Down

Exact same topic from a different angle. This time the corporations live in Silicon Valley.

Sweet old geezer whose heart and brain are generally in the right place, explaining how companies like IBM/RedHat, Google/Alphabet, and (yes) Apple are motivated (some would say obligated) to steadily embrace, extend, and extinguish the Free from Free Software.

Specifically in order to turn something gloriously free and cooperative into something profitable.

Said geezer goes out of his way to say several times that this whole process isn’t evil.

But on that point he is absolutely deluded and categorically wrong.

Stallman was right, and as of this writing, in spite of his advanced years, he still is.

This is how our world and system work, and it is, virtually without exception, ugly and twisted and directly opposed to what you and I would say we believe in.

That phone is corrupt. Carrying it around with you is corrupting.

The average person is not going to do anything about that, except perhaps deny it’s true, because doing so would just be too inconvenient.

Time will tell if, how, and when I can figure out how to be better than average.

Maintain

Today I did all the maint I’m capable of on the pickup, the van, and the e-bike, and figured out the things that need to be done soonest by more capable hands.

While I was doing that, I listened to a bunch of air disaster videos.

In one of them, some poor survivor expressed a sentiment about there being no price that could be put on a human life.

I’m sorry for your loss, dear one, but you couldn’t be more wrong.

Airlines around here are just corporations.

And corporations will always try to guess how many lives can be lost or destroyed before it becomes unprofitable for them.

They put a price on all our lives every day.

And that it the sickest thing of all, about the so-called Civilized world we inhabit.

How a Deadly Boeing 747 Explosion Changed Aviation Forever

Revelations

JimDore-as-Art-Bell Part Two

It makes no difference if you or I believe in the more extreme versions of Earth destruction like the weather control or aerosolized viruses described in this one.

With or without those, we’re fucking over the wild in every way precisely to live more comfortably domesticated and ‘civilized’ lives.

That’s the true meaning of saying that we’re living in the Anthropocene era now.

Whether or not our lives are clean and trim and prosperous and cozy or not, we are domesticated almost inevitably simply by the necessities of living this usual life.

Which makes us different from who we would otherwise be.

Where you and I might disagree slightly is on whether those differences are good, or make how we live and who we are ‘better’.

My gospel preached to you is: No, and …

There is something we can do about that, and …

You’re right; it will be uncomfortable, to even try, and …

That’s no god damned excuse at all, for failing to even attempt it.

Domestic Dispute

The ducks, at the pond, they are, almost impossibly, still wild.

Plus, out there, there are almost never any exogenous preta around.

Which is why I pick my way there, skirting around any signs that say no trespassing.

And why I am tormented by these scary dreams of going there to sleep a night, and heal.

***

Why do they fly in alarm any time I come within a hundred yards?

Because their wildness makes them very smart.

Just as my domestication makes me very dangerous.

***

… there are almost never any preta around.

Except the ones I brought along, inside me.

Yes it’s true, that the very liquid they swim in is something called Reclaimed Wastewater.

But that is also true of you and me, and

yet they are wild

and you and I are domesticated, enslaved and oh so very hungry

ghosts.

***

Yes, I’m always right, and no, it does me know good?

Just as I am Superior to the birds, with all this excess cranial capacity and alleged cleverness, techno and otherwise, for sure, and that’s nothing but a very mixed and iffy blessing.

I have so much to learn from them

about being an animal

wild and free once more.

Dancing With Ghosts

‘The conditions of the civilized modern have turned all societies into vicious distorters of man’s true potential. The self-created conditions in turn create populations of preta–hungry ghosts, with giant appetites and throats no bigger than needles’.

I think Snyder is really onto something here, except that it’s much worse than he says.

We automatically push these preta off into some category of their own, some pile of Others who aren’t Us. This is a natural defense mechanism. Perfectly understandable.

I think that the Conditions that make preta thrive, boiled down to the essence, amount to a singular thing, and that we can safely call it:

Domestication.

At some point in the past, there was no such thing.

Everything was Nature, and everything in nature was Wild.

Back in the Magdalenian, there may have been some early signs of trouble involving certain canine and feline species–be a good dog and help us with the hunt, instead of hunting for yourself, and we’ll throw you a dependable bone and toss in some simulacra of love and affection on the side.

Later on similar things would happen with sheep and goats and cows and, uh, comfort lizards, but first, in the time of the dawn of agriculture and the civilized, we made the worst mistake of all.

We domesticated ourselves.

We collectively offered each other a deal very close to the one we offered those hunting dogs.

We collectively made that bargain, and we said: It Was Good. We still say that. Oh Lord, look at the miracle of medicine, and longevity; behold the glory of centralized heating, ventilation, and air conditioning.

Look at my beautiful truck and what it lets me do–pay no mind to the climate meltdown it helps cause, or the fact that I need piles of something called money to pay experts to maintain it.

Thus we become, to greater and lesser extents, preta ourselves.

But oh! you mean and despicable man, look here at the sweet pet dog we feed and care for, to say nothing of the many cats, indoor and outdoor, that you care for yourself, hypocrite!

It’s okay.

You’re right.

About those specific things.

And wrong about so many unspecific ones.

And I have been too.

Irony Day

Diplomacy Theater While Seeking The Next ‘Good’ World War

Making the world safe for democracy as an irradiated wasteland: the plan culminates.

***

Meanwhile, never mind their schemes. It’ll happen like they want, or it won’t.

I’ve been studying the satellite images and then going out on the ground to visit what they mean. There’s been some luscious progress and one way or the other I’m expecting just a little bit more of it.

Then suddenly I dreamed myself sleeping out there with the herons like I did once before almost fifty years ago.

You bet I’m afraid, but I see the path laid out in crystalline clarity. Inventing and manifesting and walking there with a sleeping bag this time is the way past the fear.

It doesn’t cost any dollars.

Finding out what it does cost is an unlocking born of doing.

It’s trying to rain.

Physicalism Debunk

Facts Of Nature Science Can No Longer Ignore

Renaissance is rebirth.

Just as in the Genesis myth, we got a Cain and an Abel.

Cain’s way is Newtonian atomism, industrialism, and the rise of Capital.

Abel was a shepherd and his flock made a pastoral Romantic/Idealist congregation that included William Blake, Keats and Shelley (and the latter’s wife Mary), and too Emerson, and dear Henry David Thoreau. “Matter, as classically conceived, does not exist.”

If Dr. Kelly is right, this rebellion has already been fought and won, but the mass collective unConscious is only on the cusp of realizing it.

The other cool thing I picked up here was a word:

Panenthe

pân, ‘all’
en, ‘in’
Theós, ‘God’)

I got rid of the -ism part, for reasons of my own.

***

If it seems like that might be a bit too much or feels too dense and geeky, there a pretty okay version of the same thing, hosted by the actress who played Amy on the Big Bang Theory, on offer here:

Thomas Campbell Part One

TC Part Two

The second part is more spiritually nutritious, if you can stand both parts being stuffed full of way too many ads and a consumerist subtext.

***

Unrelated?: A map that shows where the pond of blue herons is, in relation to town.