Wanting what’s best for me is a good start and very much appreciated, full stop.

***

Getting to be the one who knows what’s best for me

(maybe better than I know?);

who decides what would really be best for me …

That’s where things get tricky ennit.

***

For example, it’s easy and obvious to agree that the first forty or fifty pounds coming off was for the Best.

But when we’re talking about the next twenty or thirty, then the happy little state of agreement becomes less universal .

***

It’s exactly the same when talking about how I dispose of my shit.

Or what town would be best for me to live in.

Or whether what’s best is building on the land I own, or giving up on that and buying a house in the same town.

Or how many square feet I should rightly inhabit, in my future theoretical perfect life.

Or how much time I should spend in solitude.

***

Ultimately, no one knows what will turn out to be best, about any of that.

But my opinions about all of it should be, and will be, decisive

regardless of how headfucked, weird, or just plain wrong you think they are.

So look.

You wanna help float the boat? That is so nice. Thank you, and as discussed, appreciation is the only human response.

It’s more than most people would ever do.

No amount of selfless, well-intentioned helping will entitle you though, to decide that the boat should really be a nice new SUV.

Or to know better than I do about what road or stream it should be pointed down.

It seems so simple.

It seems so clear.

It is anything but.