{"id":9255,"date":"2025-12-05T07:33:25","date_gmt":"2025-12-05T14:33:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/?p=9255"},"modified":"2025-12-05T07:33:44","modified_gmt":"2025-12-05T14:33:44","slug":"what-i-saw","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/2025\/12\/05\/what-i-saw\/","title":{"rendered":"What I Saw"},"content":{"rendered":"

“You have to see it to be it<\/a>.”<\/p>\n

I saw a mother, but I didn’t want to be a mother. <\/p>\n

I saw a bad father, and it made me not-want to be that either. <\/p>\n

I didn’t want to be a Shenkel-Elder, or even a genial hardworking One-Eyed Struglinski. <\/p>\n

I saw Abbey and Thoreau and Abbie Hoffman only in print. That was a start–maybe I could be in-print too?<\/p>\n

Much later, I heard Scott Carrier, and I said yes to being that, or rather … I recognized that he was probably what I had become anyway, both in the sense of soothsaying and in the way of Wreckage. He and I, growing in a certain Southwest way at roughly the same time, were on parallel tracks, both glancing off the beast of NPR according to the laws of social physics. <\/p>\n

Having bounced off and abandoned the beast, we both saw a good share of professors and thus became that too. This time, I was better at It than he was. But not all that much better. <\/p>\n

As far as I know he’s been silent for a long time now. <\/p>\n

I have this, and a video now and then. <\/p>\n

We both have a decade’s worth of endgame to sort out. <\/p>\n

God bless us every one. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“You have to see it to be it.” I saw a mother, but I didn’t want to be a mother. I saw a bad father, and it made me not-want to be that either. I didn’t want to be a Shenkel-Elder, or even a genial hardworking One-Eyed Struglinski. I saw Abbey and Thoreau and Abbie […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9255","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9255","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9255"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9255\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9257,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9255\/revisions\/9257"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9255"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9255"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9255"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}