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<\/p>\nThere are pocoburritos in the fridge. A solid sleep from four to noon. It’s the Wednesday before the Monday of returning to wage slavery. <\/p>\n
Singledose 12:47 PM and I feel it I think before ten minutes are up. <\/p>\n
Thoughts about the basic identity and nature swirl. Getting warmer. One post meridian. <\/p>\n
I think about taking another but there’s no need for it yet–I have soft focus and this is what I came for. The rain of the day is here. <\/p>\n
I perform some basic hygeine and in the middle of it I think: God I love this house. But just as quick I see that it’s not so. It’s not this <\/p>\n
Tierra I love, though it has it’s charms–It’s the right place for javelina and a visitation of one perfect horned toad, but it’s not mine. It’s not this<\/p>\n
building I love; not at all, it’s not mine and it’s surrounded by certain soft curses that mean it never will be. It does what it’s supposed to, but I know where I have to go. <\/p>\n
No. What I love is the room by room structures I’ve built. I like the efficient way my bathroom runs, my kitchen, laundry room … these are what I made of them and it can happen anywhere and it will happen in the place where I have to go. <\/p>\n
The woman in the shop at the springs at Glenwood was right, about microdoses being the future. <\/p>\n
The place of the future is ringed by many towns and four cities. I consider them like I told myself to do. <\/p>\n
All the things about fearhate are my self looking out over at what is in the way of it, the things outside me and the things inside me too. <\/p>\n
Pocoburritos. They come down the hill from a shop I’ve been to in Bisbee and Bisbee is the precursor taste of the place I have to go. They are breakfast. I’m not ready for one yet but I am ready because I will be ready. <\/p>\n
This is the opposite of fearhate and it is enough for now. Maybe I will append to this consideration in public before you all, but know that whether I do or not the writing is only begun here, and it will go on and on toward the coming dusk. <\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
What I love is the room by room structures I\u2019ve built.
\nthese are what I made of them
\nand it will happen in the place where I have to go.<\/p>\n
All the things about fearhate are my self looking out over at what is in the way of it<\/p>\n
So the cube structures in the place I have to go are what matter.
\nThere are things in the way but they don’t. <\/p>\n
50 minutes later and I am ready for a second meltwafer and a second cup (they each taste like different kinds of dirt). <\/p>\n
Getting to this state is the whole point and there’s never even ever been a question of it. There have been too many things in the way of the getting-to. <\/p>\n
The whole point of my life has been: fix that. <\/p>\n
Being in the flow state is easy. <\/p>\n
Setting things up so that I am there is hard and I’ve let it be harder than it needs to be. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
There are pocoburritos in the fridge. A solid sleep from four to noon. It’s the Wednesday before the Monday of returning to wage slavery. Singledose 12:47 PM and I feel it I think before ten minutes are up. Thoughts about the basic identity and nature swirl. Getting warmer. One post meridian. I think about taking […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-424","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/424","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=424"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/424\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":427,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/424\/revisions\/427"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=424"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=424"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=424"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}