I am fucked in the head, both beautifully and pathologically. I have Vairtere\u2019s syndrome. <\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
When the people who love me try to say why they do, they sometimes talk about my Integrity. <\/p>\n
I know what the word means and it resonates for me. I feel loved when I hear it applied to myself that way.<\/p>\n
I think it’s true as far as it goes, and I think it doesn’t go quite far enough. <\/p>\n
It’s a recognition that I’ve been true to my alleged Self. <\/p>\n
I got derailed and stopped because I was next going to have to ask myself honestly what that self was, and is; to define the beautiful and terrible disease of V-Syndrome that in turn defines me.<\/p>\n
In order to honestly paint those definitions, I was going to have to talk about the parts of my psychology I inherited from my father. In order to achieve real integrity, I was going to have to admit just how like my father I was and still am. <\/p>\n
*** down<\/em>. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I am fucked in the head, both beautifully and pathologically. I have Vairtere\u2019s syndrome. *** When the people who love me try to say why they do, they sometimes talk about my Integrity. I know what the word means and it resonates for me. I feel loved when I hear it applied to myself that […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3421","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3421","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3421"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3421\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3431,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3421\/revisions\/3431"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3421"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3421"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3421"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n
\nBut I can’t do it just now. The subject is radioactive and when I focus on it my brain has been shutting <\/p>\n