So yes, I go down into town for milk, and yes I make the habitual mistake of turning on NPR for a general news show. <\/p>\n
This conversation ensued. <\/p>\n
I’ll put their words in refined italics, because they are the sophisticates. <\/p>\n
My reactions will be in caps, because yes, I was mostly screaming them. <\/p>\n
*** YEAH.<\/p>\n IF YOU HAVE THE WILL, WHICH YOU DON’T. JUST LIKE WITH FREE COMMUNITY COLLEGE, WHICH IS JUST SO UN-POSSIBLE ACCORDING TO THE PUPPETS IN DC, BECAUSE WE NEED 300 MILITARY BASES INSTEAD.<\/p>\n –Thanks Ari (YOU DEPENDABLY USEFUL IDIOT). Great to be back. <\/p>\n So what did your thorough reporting show? Is it truly un-possible, or just not going to happen?<\/p>\n –Well Ari (Y.D.U.I), some of the scienters we talked to say that unless we reach zero carbon by, oh, 2050, we might find ourselves in a bit of a jimmy-jam-jam, to put it colloquially. <\/p>\n Oh dear. What does that mean, jimmyjam? Specifically. Not to put you on the spot … But in practical terms …<\/p>\n –Heh heh. Well there might be more, uh, hurricanes, you know … maybe a few more of those refugees, their kids dying like cattle in pens, higher espresso prices … <\/em><\/p>\n AND MASS EXTINCTIONS MOTHERFUCKERS. NOT JUST OF LUCKLESS POLAR BEARS AND SYMPATHETIC GIRAFFES. OF YOUR<\/strong> SPECIES. YOUR FUDDLED WHITEBREAD CULTURE. THE DESSICATION OF YOUR BREEDER SEED UNTO THE SEVEN THOUSANDTH GENERATION YOU WITLESS RIGHT-WING TOOLS.<\/p>\n Oh Spanky that sounds near serious. What are the chances that we can hit that 2050 target in time to save the whales?<\/p>\n –Well, mildly sad to say Ari, it looks like it might be a toughie of a row to hoe, a political non-starter because of the stranglehold of fossilized metaphors, fuels, and power structures in this miraculous quixotic world we live in. <\/p>\n We should hasten to point out in the interests of journalistic integrity that Exxon, who knew about this before we were born, is a gold sponsor of NPR and pays your entire salary as well as mine. Please, go on. <\/p>\n –Well i would, good sirrah, but we are out of time and have to play an underwriting announcement about how green a company they are and how much they care about trees and shit. <\/em><\/p>\n NOT ON MY TIME YOU SIMPERING OVERLOADED BAGS OF<\/p>\n {click}<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" So yes, I go down into town for milk, and yes I make the habitual mistake of turning on NPR for a general news show. This conversation ensued. I’ll put their words in refined italics, because they are the sophisticates. My reactions will be in caps, because yes, I was mostly screaming them. *** Much […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-285","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/285","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=285"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/285\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":286,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/285\/revisions\/286"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=285"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=285"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=285"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n
\nMuch has been made of this climate change thing you know. Some of those scientists even say things could get pretty un-pretty after a while, unless an effort is made in the direction of zero carbon. But is a zero carbon global society an achievable goal? <\/em><\/p>\n
\nReporter Spanky Josh McWorthington has been investigating for us. Spanky welcome to All Things Middlebrow.<\/p>\n