Going back almost five years ago now, when things began to hit the fan, I experienced a moment in my driveway, in which I told myself that I was no longer The Professor. It was exhilarating and terrifying in equal measure.<\/p>\n
The terror part led me to cling hard to that identity anyway, for another three years.<\/p>\n
But two years ago as Covid ramped up, whatever I was clinging to came apart in my hands and I fell, down deep into whatever it was I was fearing most.<\/p>\n
Today I stood in the same driveway bereft of all identities and the politics that come with them. I was just some human bean.<\/p>\n
All daily bullshit and frustration aside (I’m listening to the song of Dusty the Broken Stray Cat in his hospital room), I’ve never been happier; never been more myself.<\/p>\n
I woke up today to the realization that in addition to the grubstake I have left, there’s thousands of dollars in two-percent-for-life money available to me right now, and that deployed judiciously it could be a deus ex machina that pushes me a good ways down the path I want to take.<\/p>\n
And also that seeking after a ranger job this summer is a path that could be walked simultaneously …<\/p>\n
But anyway. The details are dull and must be dealt with sternly.<\/p>\n
I can feel the modus vivendi trying to blossom.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Going back almost five years ago now, when things began to hit the fan, I experienced a moment in my driveway, in which I told myself that I was no longer The Professor. It was exhilarating and terrifying in equal measure. The terror part led me to cling hard to that identity anyway, for another […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_hide_featured_image":false,"_jetpack_featured_image_duplicate_dismissed":0,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2842","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2842","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2842"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2842\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2843,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2842\/revisions\/2843"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2842"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2842"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2842"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}