As a sacrifice of an entirely different kind.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Last night around 7, I took two nighttime pain relievers for the first time in over a year. Normally that dose would knock me on my ass for ten hours and I’d wake still feeling the muzziness.<\/p>\n
This time, I woke after five hours right at midnight, apparently fully rested, and with no trace of drowsy peace. Instead I was alarmed, without being particularly anxious, and that too was an unusual circumstance and almost a whole new unique feeling. <\/p>\n
In the nineteen hours since, I’ve done a full week’s work, and I neither wanted nor received any money for it in return.<\/p>\n
I lived, by the sweat of my brow, but that’s all poetry and not post-Eden nonfiction scriptural narrative.<\/p>\n
What the fuck is a fact anyway. It’s a question for God, whether or not She exists.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Working steadily and very hard for no money is an exercise in practical anarchy.<\/p>\n
Potentially, even also an antidote to trauma, or a least a treatment for the worst symptoms.<\/p>\n
Having abruptly ended the working week here, I am full of intention to start all over again in the morning.<\/p>\n
I don’t think I’d like to make every day into a week’s work, even if it were possible to keep up that kind of pace. I’d rather stop and smell the hummingbirds, even for days at a time. <\/p>\n
But farther on in that direction is a bad road too, every bit as pot-holed as workaholism. A bad road I know too well, cratered with lassitude, and yet paradoxically as slick as black ice pavement. <\/p>\n
Distraction. Indulgence. Slipping off the track into the mummifying snowbank of play until it turns into a prison of hibernating torpor.<\/p>\n
Start all over again. <\/p>\n
That means back past words, back even before Eden. A place of inhuman green, and the spark of consciousness only a flickering possibility, long before it ever imagined itself becoming an all-consuming flame.<\/p>\n
Sing it:<\/p>\n
As a sacrifice of an entirely different kind. *** Last night around 7, I took two nighttime pain relievers for the first time in over a year. Normally that dose would knock me on my ass for ten hours and I’d wake still feeling the muzziness. This time, I woke after five hours right at […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_hide_featured_image":false,"_jetpack_featured_image_duplicate_dismissed":0,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2286","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2286","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2286"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2286\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2287,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2286\/revisions\/2287"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2286"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2286"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2286"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nIiiiii … don’t wanna work. I just want to hunt, on my gathered day.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"