I met David in RT and we got to be buds. The first time I went over to his house, I imposed rudely on his friendship. He had been talking about his meds, specifically the head meds for his anxiety. He had a new one and it was working good. So I asked him if I could try it.<\/p>\n
He’s a good boy and he was instinctively averse to the idea for good boy reasons. Instead of letting his no be a no, I let the question hang in the air. Finally he went to the medicine chest and came back with the bottle of the old stuff and passed it to me. <\/p>\n
In some twisted spirit of compromise I shook out four or five tablets and gave him back the rest. <\/p>\n
That seemed to make him feel better; reduced his anxiety a little. <\/p>\n
I said something about him being Canadian and getting all this stuff for cheap. Which was of course irrelevant to his actual concerns. A dumb joke. But even though I’d been not quite civil, it didn’t seem to hurt the new underlying relationship too much. <\/p>\n
I think this dream was saying something that I’d thought briefly in waking. It’s quite possible that I have some sort of undiagnosed disorder of this kind. Certainly I have had my issues with debilitating worry in the last few years. And going back decades, I can recall a few incidents that are consistent with what I know about panic attacks. <\/p>\n
I don’t think I need treatment for it now. I have antediluvian notions about this. When I hear that half the population is medicated for something of this kind, I feel absurdly superior for not being among that half. I also disbelieve that modern medicine has a clue about what they’re doing with these chemicals. I also do believe that modern life is of course going to fuck most people up by itself, and that suffering through these issues builds character, and that I’m a better person, having suffered. <\/p>\n
All of these are unexamined notions that have no basis in fact, but I also believe that most people go through their lives being governed by just such notions, and that I’m no different in this particular area. <\/p>\n
Other areas though, I examine the hell out of my notions. <\/p>\n
Thus in most areas I’m a better person than average.<\/p>\n
This notion too is primarily an article of faith, rather than reason. One for the road. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I met David in RT and we got to be buds. The first time I went over to his house, I imposed rudely on his friendship. He had been talking about his meds, specifically the head meds for his anxiety. He had a new one and it was working good. So I asked him if […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1601","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1601","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1601"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1601\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1602,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1601\/revisions\/1602"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1601"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1601"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1601"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}