{"id":1144,"date":"2020-04-07T01:23:48","date_gmt":"2020-04-07T08:23:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/?p=1144"},"modified":"2020-04-07T01:26:25","modified_gmt":"2020-04-07T08:26:25","slug":"hst","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/2020\/04\/07\/hst\/","title":{"rendered":"HST"},"content":{"rendered":"

I came out of the working withdrawing headache in the late evening and began to clean up the mess around me. <\/p>\n

I methodically caught up spills and made text files and closed windows. While I did, I caught up on the latest versions of the news, and at some point I saw something in the sidebar about film noir. <\/p>\n

Yes I want that. Reframe, refocus. History of Film Noir. <\/p>\n

I learned a good bit and I’ll put it into the comments, but. <\/p>\n

Even better. <\/p>\n

A documentary on the life of Hunter Thompson, filmed it seems right after his suicide at 67 four or five years after the millenium. <\/p>\n

I watched it right through, fascinated, remembering why I loved him once. <\/p>\n

Here’s the main thing. <\/p>\n

HST lived large. <\/p>\n

I never learned that skill. <\/p>\n

Hunter saw the broken ugliness of what we are and it cut him deep, even at a time when it was relatively benign compared to what we have now. And he never stopped telling the truth of what he saw. <\/p>\n

He didn’t hold down jobs. <\/p>\n

He wrote and scratched out a life in the Aspen version of a garrett. <\/p>\n

Buy the Ticket, Take the Ride<\/a> (Documentary)<\/p>\n

He was an artist instead of an employee or a pensioner. <\/p>\n

He figured out a way. <\/p>\n

He blew himself away because his body was failing and the well of creativity had run dry for him. It was the honorable thing to do. <\/p>\n

My body isn’t failing yet. <\/p>\n

My well of creativity has sat most untapped for decades. <\/p>\n

I listened to the Deans and their grave opinions as if I gave a shit, as if what they thought mattered in any way when it didn’t. <\/p>\n

That was such a sinful thing to do; so truly bad of me.<\/p>\n

It didn’t feel harmful or wrong but it WAS. <\/p>\n

It didn’t feel cowardly but it was. <\/p>\n

It’s late and I’m tired. <\/p>\n

But fuck I want to make good on these sins, to awaken and live at last.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I came out of the working withdrawing headache in the late evening and began to clean up the mess around me. I methodically caught up spills and made text files and closed windows. While I did, I caught up on the latest versions of the news, and at some point I saw something in the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1144","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1144","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1144"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1144\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1146,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1144\/revisions\/1146"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1144"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1144"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vairtere.com\/spill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1144"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}